Baby Steps

While he was looking out toward the waves, making an attempt to untangle the knots in his stomach so maybe he could at least find a way to salvage their friendship, he missed the growing panic on Tira's face. It wasn't until she insisted that he take it back that he looked back down at her with confusion and saw the fear in her eyes as she shifted to face him. His brows pulled together, not understanding what about this had gotten this kind of reaction from her. Still, he stayed quiet and listened as she demanded that she was not a good wolf to love, pointing out her hybrid lineage and issues as reasons why she wasn't worth getting attached to. Before he could deny all of that and point out how ridiculous that line of thought was, she grabbed his shoulder and shook him, making him blink with shock while she went on, insisting that everyone that loved her ended up leaving her.

Suddenly, everything clicked into focus for him. He had interpreted her initial reaction as her not having the same feelings that he had, but it was so much more than that. Without another word, he shifted to face her as well, slipping his other foreleg under her so that he could pull her smaller form tight to his. He pulled her into his chest and tucked her head under his chin, wrapping her up in his forelegs as he gently nuzzled the top of her head. He was no stranger to the feeling of being abandoned and left behind by anyone and everyone in his life. That was why he had been so willing to have this casual, no commitments relationship with her at the beginning. But now where he wanted that commitment to try and keep her in his life permanently she saw that commitment as a reason he would leave.

He didn't say anything for a while, just holding her tight and giving her tender nuzzles and kisses across the top of her head and her soft, folded ears that he had come to love so much. Eventually, once he felt her breathing begin to settle, he lifted his head so that he could look down at her again, one of his paws moving up to cup her cheek and lift her gaze up to meet his. "I am not going to leave you. I am not going to move on without you. I don't care about your bloodline. You are worth being attached to and so, so much more," he insisted quietly, punctuating each statement with a kiss to her nose, forehead, cheek, muzzle, anywhere he could reach. He held her gaze while his paw gently stroked over her cheek, adding, "I never knew my mother, my father was never really a father, and my siblings and I were always pitted against one another. I've never had anyone that I actually cared whether or not they left or not... until I met you. Now... Now I don't know how I could possibly live without you."

He let his paw slip from her cheek so he could wrap both of his forelegs around her again, giving her a gentle squeeze while he kissed her forehead once more. "Maybe the other wolves in your life sifted their focus to other things or moved on, but... Tira, you are what I want my future to be. You are what I am moving on to, not moving away from. I love you. I love you and whether or not you feel the same that is never going to change." He held her gaze, giving her a moment to absorb everything he had said and waiting to see how she would react. He knew that this wasn't something that was going to be fixed with one conversation. Hells, he was still getting over things that happened when he was barely a yearling and he knew it would be the same for Tira. But Tira was worth fighting for–even if what he was fighting was her own demons.

"Cináed & Satira"