Got The Cat In The Bag!

Bellamy has been doing a lot of thinking since the first raid… and she still feels anger bristle at the thought that Haydee had been maimed because of her, and for trying to collect Gavroche. But though she had been one of the ones to start this tilt, the woman now sees no way of finding peace with it. Whether Ethne is ready or not the wolves she had once merely considered a threat on the horizon are enemies… only Bellamy has not made their connection with the former Pirates yet. Had she known, the woman would have been all the more furious with the wolves who came into her home. They might have taken things lightly, with the goal of taking livestock… but Bellamy saw their transgressions as more, just as she would have any pack. Wolves who threatened her family would be dealt with… and the woman continued to ride on a sea of mixed emotion.

She had checked on Fenix since they had come back home. His recovery stretched on before him, a road that would take some time to get down. His time in the mines had not been kind to him. She worried for Dorian too, blaming herself for the maim he had received… but that too only made her angrier. Wolves who targeted her loved ones for things that they did not control… Did they truly believe they were capable of controlling others? That Haydee should be able to make sure none of her wolves crossed boundaries simply because she was an alpha? Ha! Free will was a thing… and she doubted any other pack had such pristine records. Any pack was capable of holding a wolf who overstepped boundaries… and an alpha would not know that until then. The more she thought of that, the more frustrated she became. If they wanted blood, flesh, then why not come for her?! She didn’t get it.

Her mind churning, Bellamy pushed through her aching shoulder pain to patrol along the borders of Ethne. Her tail lashed at her heels, her unwell mind playing tricks on her. Shadows… of course, Delusion and Calamity lingered… a reminder of the edge she found herself on. Soon there would be no turning back… maybe it was already too late. Maybe she’d already been falling… fooling herself into believing she was trying to do the right thing. No doubt no other wolf outside of her pack would dare trust her now… and… she still didn’t understand why her pack hadn’t driven her off for the fault of what happened in the raid. Their loyalty hurt her. At this rate she would bring Ethne down with her… and yet multiple wolves had told her not to give herself up in the hopes of saving things. Was it right to listen to them? Or… would it have been better to defy her daughter, to defy Acere, and walk straight into the lion’s den to meet her fate?

‘Goddess… What is wrong with me…? Just because I had been a child soldier made to take lives didn’t mean she was… why hadn’t I been able to stop myself…? She’s younger than my grandchildren for fuck’s sake…’ Bellamy sighed. ‘One minute I feel justified… and the next I’m disgusted at myself for even daring to think that… Had… had I told Artorias and his wolves about this sickness of the mind… would they have been able to help me?’ Bellamy’s pawstepped slowed. [i]‘I don’t know who I am anymore… this beast I am… I was… Nothing makes sense anymore…’[/b] Her anger was fizzling to frustration… and sadness.

“Divinites above this is all my fault…” Her ears flattened against her skull. The rain had only made her more miserable, achey… but a grunt of alarm caught her attention and head would snap up immediately. Saga. And then she heard the yowl…

The old wolf snarled as the cougar leapt onto her pack, snow leopard coat catching the claws of her assailant as its weight caused her to stumble. Down they went in a flurry of limbs and teeth, the cat catching her neck with her claws and tearing into one of the still healing wounds. The shot of pain changed the snarl to a yelp. The cat had the advantage, pinned over the old wolf as it held down her forelegs with front paws. Bellamy was thrashing, but the young, newly adult cat was strong, and she felt fangs bite into the back of her neck. Fuck fuck fuck… if she didn’t get help soon she was going to be the next wolf Ethne buried. A mix between a calling bark and whine was made to get Saga there in time hopefully… She could feel the strain of the teeth in her neck as the male sought for the perfect position…

"Speech," 'Thought.'