His questions caused Bellamy to shift, guilt radiating from the woman as she spoke. “Is survival justifiable if it means taking the lives of others?” She asked back. That was the part that she struggled with understanding. She had survived, yes, but at the cost of so many lives, of fighting for the Empire that stole her family from her. Her life could only be prolonged by stealing it from others the way they had done to her family. Bellamy felt those losses… mourned for them in her own way. The woman was not a monster by choice, but by circumstance… but did it really matter when the end result was the same?
“Things are… different in Boreas and Auster…” Bellamy met his next question with a small explanation. “I suppose here wolves only come to raid for resources, rather than for lives… I know some of our own fresh yearlings had helped defend us when they came, but she was younger. I… personally can’t fathom why they would bring such young wolves with them. Perhaps it is because with such raids there would be no real risk… But I don’t know for sure… I wanted to be angry about it… but it doesn’t change the fact that I have caused permanent damage to a child.” Bellamy sighed again.
“While this is true, I can’t help but fear my teachings have brought risk to her and our family… this pack that I have risen for them.” Bellamy furrowed her brow. “Ironic as it is… my late mate was of that same family and empire that brought such devastation to my early years. But he was different, the kindest, gentlest wolf I’ve ever met, even for a healer…” Bellamy closed her eyes. “And yet this world, so rotten and full of thorns, found a wolf who thought it fit to murder him, tearing wings and head from his body…” Her face twisted at the memory, a hint of a snarl in her voice.
“His pelt at borders does little to soothe what he has done… my mate has been given a second chance, a new life, a new identity, in that of my grandson…” She opened her eyes again, looking at Eltrys. “I fear that I might harm the youth here, as I did the girl… as far as I have seen such episodes have only happened on battlefields with groups, alliance versus alliance… they shift and warp, the faces and features flashing a mix between those from years ago… and the present… it is hard to keep track of what is truly going on… as if my mind can’t truly determine what is before me.” Her look is thoughtful, yet still pained.
“...and even if the other pack knew this, it would bring them no solace I’m sure. Their daughter is maimed, and I’m the one that did it…” She grew tense, not realizing how easily words have been spilling from her mouth. “...already they’ve started punishing others for my sin… they maimed Haydee…” She trailed off, clearly bothered by that as well.
"Speech," 'Thought.'
Berserker
