Artorias arrives, and his jest pulls the slightest chuckle from the woman’s lips. “I feel like I’ve done some shit, too.” The words are lighter than she expects, given the troubled state she has been in. Still, Bellamy sighs, and tilts her head slightly to the side as she addresses the man now. “You are one of the few wolves outside my kin, outside my pack, that has seen me at my lowest… You have seen the state of my mind, and how… different it can be.” Her brow furrows and the troubled look within her gaze grows.
“I fear there is another affliction… one that I hadn’t considered since the last time it had occurred…” How does she explain this? What is the best way? Bellamy closes her eyes, brow furrowing as she tries to come up with the right description. “Battlefields, alongside allies… they begin to shift and change… like memories of battles past playing out all at once. Faces and environments change, melding into one another… I’m… not quite present in the present.” The old wolf open her eyes again as another sigh passes her lips.
“The first time we became aware of this… I was a younger wolf. About the age my youngest are now.” Bellamy explains. “I maimed someone during a raid… It was as if the only thing I could remember was fight or die.” Bellamy’s gaze fell. “Acere, the alpha I was under, tried to comfort me. I was… in a heightened state. Still frazzled by the time it was all over. This happened again, recently… only…” Her claws bit into the soil.
“A child had been the one to approach me. Not even a yearling yet… I… I barely remember going for her… but I did… and she was maimed in the process.” Her posture, tone, and expression betrayed the guilt behind the action. “And now… now my daughter is suffering for my sin… The leader of the Raiders attacked her, maimed her over what I had done…” Bellamy scoffed.
“I had… asked Haydee to send me away… to allow me to go seek the punishment that I had earned…” The woman explained. “But not only did she not do that… she promoted me back to co-Leader alongside her… and then the retaliatory raid to get the chickens back… Divinities above Artorias I feel like all my lessons and actions are going to cause the crash of Ethne around me…” Bellamy lifted her gaze back to him.
“I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like every action I take now will only make things worse...” She trailed off, praying that the man might have some advice.
"Speech," 'Thought.'
Bellamy has two companions - a Tasmanian devil and an American badger. Unless otherwise mentioned IC, assume that they are close by.
Berserker
