Sweet Dreams are Made of This

*Recluse* · Updated 04/30/23:

A surge of emotion went through Recluse as Sparrow wrapped her so easily in an embrace and it took much control not to just melt into the bigger woman's limbs, to keep herself from crying. Someone outside her children had cared. Relief, a strange emotion to feel when she was so aware of her own state. Sparrow so alive and here she was so... Not. She quickly threw one of her own forelimbs around her pirate king nearly as soon as they connected. In her mind the "her" Sparrow spoke of could have been either of the two woman that had taken her life from her, one everything she'd worked for, the other her mortality and in truth it didn't matter to her, not anymore. What use did the dead have for revenge? All that mattered was that Sparrow was safe. Recluse craned her neck back slightly trying to get a good look at the woman, searching for any wounds or scars she didn't remember but Sparrow was burying her face in her fur so her view was obscured.

As for her husband. Recluse just sighed and nodded, she hadn't known where he'd gone but considering her own son had chosen to stay of his own volition and that her husband's dreams very rarely brushed close anymore she had assumed that at this point their marriage hadn't meant as much to him as it had to her. Still she couldn't blame him for choosing to stay in a place that some of his kids had been in, at least last she'd heard... Assuming he'd ever actually seen those kids as his... They had been to her. "He's not worth the effort." She managed weakly, doing a less than good job at hiding her own sadness at the news. She was out of practice.

And then the words of her pirate king seemed to keep tumbling out even as she pulled away and Recluse bit down on the urge to interrupt until she was sure the other woman was done. Finally Sparrow met her gaze and Recluse didn't hesitate for a single moment. She stepped back into the much larger woman, looking to tuck herself against her. "If I could, I'd do it in an instant. But not for her head, for you." She wanted to cry again. As she knew so well now... She'd always been focused on the wrong things. "I love you too Sparrow." It felt good to say it. "I don't think I fully realized it either, I didn't know what I was supposed to be looking for. All my life all I was ever looking for was love, all that pride and ego was just to cover that gaping wound. My parents had abandoned me at so young I would have died without the intervention of... Well he doesn't matter anymore. But it wasn't love, I was prisoner. And I know now my family, the Kleins, never cared either." She'd never shared this with anyone, but it felt right, even if much much too late. "I realize now my children were my way of filling that void, looking for love from whatever source I could get it from. That's not to say I don't genuinely love them, I do, each and every one, and I will never regret their births but... I never wanted them for the right reasons." And she hated herself for that, just one of many regrets she'd so much time to dwell on. As for her husband? Well that hadn't worked out had it? She'd felt care from someone and had latched herself onto him... Maybe she'd blown it up and she'd simply seen affection and assumed it meant more than it actually had.

"Thank you." Recluse practically whispered it. "You deserved so much more than what I gave you. But even when all I left you with was orphans and a body you showed me more care than anyone ever had. Had I known I'd have made you a very happy wife indeed." The sadness, the mourning... It didn't suit them. When they were together they were bright and brash and passionate, so with her final words she finally tossed a grin up at the bigger woman. "But perhaps the next best thing is being able to tell others you married a ghost?" Not that that was what she really was, not right here or now. Nor could she blame Sparrow if she'd rather get married to someone, y'know living and breathing. There wasn't much Recluse could offer her now.

"Speech" Think

Art by Ulfeid3

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