The woman debated just leaving, leaving without a word and… never coming back. The shame and guilt she felt made her stomach feel sour, and the femme shifted on her paws as she sighed. There was so much to say, so much to think about. But the question was, would Saga believe her? Or would she continue to press the matters with the Raiders until the pack was nothing but ashes? Her ears pinned back against her head at the thought. Her children were loyal to one another, to their pack, but could they understand that they had done wrong? That they were the bad guys here? She had debated too long… Saga approached and nuzzled her, but Bellamy didn’t move. Green gaze lifted to her daughter’s face, the look in her gaze reflecting the troubled feelings she had.
“Yes Saga, there is, and it’s… It’s Ethne.” Her daughter would know she hadn’t shown up to any meeting she would have had in her absence. Bellamy closed her eyes with a heavy sigh. What she was about to share with her daughter had troubled her soul the whole way back from the Raider’s lands.
“They believed Gilgamesh dead, and came to get him while your sister and I were away at the Hallows. There is a coalition forming against the Syndicate, but until Ethne sorts the blood feud with the Raiders, they will not be considered a part of it.” She opened her eyes and met Saga’s own. “I agree with Artorias… knowing what I know now. I took the Raiders the herbs we had been using to treat Gilgamesh and spoke to him there.” The woman shifted a little.
“Your sister… before the raid, had gone to the Raiders to ask for training. They were meant to be on friendly terms, as she had expressed understanding on who the Raiders were. That was why they brought children to the raid, to have them practice. It was meant to be one where they shouldn’t get hurt. Had the rest of the pack had any idea about the potential relations of the pack I don’t think they would have responded as they did. Especially in a revenge raid that should have never happened.” Bellamy’s gaze fell.
“My anger ruled me, agreeing to go along with that Raid back… But to approach the Raiders with so much violence, when they had done nothing but what Haydee had asked them to do, when they had already had a child maimed on our soil, was beyond wrong, Saga. I need you to understand that Ethne is NOT the victim. We are the bad guys here.” Another sigh as she shifted.
“I may not have made any decisions for the pack when your sister made me co-Leader, but I am just as much to blame for them as she is. I failed Haydee, failed to train her, failed to teach her how to go about relations between packs… and now she and Ethne are looked at as monsters. In a light that I had never wanted the pack to go. We were meant to stand up for ourselves yes, but never be vengeful to the point of hunting others down.” Bellamy looked back at Saga now. Hurt, guilt, shame… it all mixed within her gaze.
“Actions… have consequences. What you did was wrong too… the amount of force you used. And knowing what I know now, Gilgamesh had every right to ask those things of Haydee. He is not a bully, Saga. And if you continue to blame the Raiders for Ethne’s faults, this pack will crumble.” The woman shook her head. “I’d let the dust settle before you go speak to them… and… there is one more thing.” Bellamy averted her gaze.
“I’m leaving the pack… I will no longer be a member here.”
"Speech," 'Thought.'
Berserker
