A Ballad of Sacrifice

She couldn’t do it. Aurelia found herself repeating these fatalistic words over and over again, her voice cracking on the syllables as she fell deeper into despair- sobbing uncontrollably all the while. Her body was wracked with pain, each wave of it threatening to consume her entirely. The thin layer of lichen beneath her did little to cushion the hard slate floor of her own personal healer’s den, every cold stone pressing into her ribs and belly like icy knives. Her breath hitched as another contraction hit, so powerful it left spots dancing in her vision. She clutched her two stillborn pups closer to her chest, their lifeless forms a heartbreaking weight against her heaving sides. The muted colors of their coats were a pitiful echo of the vibrant spectrum of her own, and Sephiran’s. Their bodies had long since lost the heat she had given them, as deformed and mutated as they were. Disfigured almost to the point where she wondered if they had ever lived, even while inside her.

She couldn’t do it. Another contraction tore through her body- she too weak to even cry out. Her cyan eyes stared blankly ahead, glossed with a layer of unfallen tears. Her mind raced with thoughts she dared not confront, traumas she wasn't ready to face. Yet, they continued to assail her nonetheless, each thought more crippling than the last. She wanted to scream, to let out all the heartbreak and despair that gnawed at her core – but her throat was raw from screaming. The silence of the den was broken only by the pitiful whimpers that escaped her, echoing and rebounding off the close walls. Every few moments, a particularly harsh shiver would rake through her body, causing her muscles to seize and her already labored breathing to hitch. She was trapped in this dark abyss with no knowledge of when - or if - she would ever be free from it.

She couldn’t do it. Almost an entire day. In a few hours she reckoned it would be. She had done everything for herself that she thought of. But this … She had aided in several births in her time. And nothing about this felt normal. Natural. Aurelia’s gaze drifted towards the entrance of the den as she became frantic. Her cyan eyes darted to the dead vines of the ivy curtain hanging in the entrance of the den, its veins etched so vividly against the backdrop of seamless black. The thin vines rustled slightly as a chilled breeze swept past the narrow opening, whispering eerie lullabies into the tenebrous silence. Almost an echo of her own terror-ridden thoughts. She yearned for someone — anyone — to whisk her away from this hellish nightmare, yet no one came. She was alone, as she had always been.

In a last-ditch effort of preservation, she lifted her head from the cool- blood saturated floor, her every movement straining against the relentless pull of exhaustion. It took every ounce of strength to haul herself up off the ground. Searing pain shot through her with every inch she moved, the agony so raw and primal it stripped away all else. She could feel the warm trickle of blood seeping down her underbelly to meld with the sticky tears that had pooled beneath her. Each throb of her heart was a pulsating echo of the anguish she was steeped in, yet it pounded on, stubborn as herself. Aurelia staggered toward the entrance, leaning on the archway before casting a final look back at her two pups she had to leave behind. She couldn't do it. She couldn't carry them with her, not with every movement bringing searing pain. It broke her heart to leave them there. But maybe their siblings were still alive. Tossing a final dreadful glare at the lifeless forms of her pups, she lurched forward into the frigid outside air.

Her vision blurred as stinging tears welled up in her cyan eyes. The world beyond the den seemed an unattainable fantasy – bright moonlight streaming down, illuminating the frozen landscape with an ethereal glow. The thick blanket of snow on the ground reflected the light, turning the world into a sea of luminescent silver. Yet, it did nothing to soothe Aurelia's torment. The sharp sting of frigid air was a shocking contrast to the humid warmth of the den, setting her nerves ablaze in renewed agony. Her already tortured body shuddered under this fresh assault.

She couldn’t do it. Each step was agony personified, yet she pressed onward as her heartbeat thundered in her ears. She didn’t know how she could have possibly made it to Caedes. But she did. And as she supported her body against the entryway- her entire frame trembling from the indescribable exhaustion. Her usually vibrant markings were dull and faded, marred with dried blood and filth. She was a pitiful sight - broken and bordering on the edge of life. “Caed…” Her voice was barely above a whisper, strained and hoarse from hours of screaming. The familiar name hung in the air like a plea, echoing hauntingly in the desolate valley. She couldn’t get his whole name out. She didn’t think she could even tell him what was wrong. But surely he would see. Surely he would see that she couldn’t do it.

"Aurelia Veratti"