If I Could Change

A part of her could feel Indigo's presence as he joined beside her, but she was in a whole other realm in her mind. Ever since she had deceived him and lost it all, lost everything that was a part of her life, she was stuck in a dark place. She did everything to fill the void. She wanted the attention, she wanted to feel seen and desired. At that point she didn't care with who or the nature of the relationship. It was how she came to be with Noir and why she had stayed around with him for so long. She could tell there was a part of him hurting, a part of him missing. And she hoped that she could have helped him regardless of how the relationship between them progressed or was kept. And she would have never imagined it would have come to this. She was older now, and she couldn't blame Indigo for what he did. What he did for her. She had to wonder if he would have if Aslatiel wasn't there, but she wasn't in a state of mind to sort through it now. For now she just had to go one day at a time. But she didn't know where she would be tomorrow, or a week from now. If she wasn't with Indigo and Aslatiel, she would easily be gone by now. Noir or not.

It had been sometime before she could snap back to where she was tethered to their earth, her head raising slowly to turn to Indigo beside her. Her whole chest clenched as she looked at his own appearance. She couldn't have expected it but she did. She was quicker to pick herself up off the ground as she reached out to hug around his neck, burying her face into the side of his mane as tears fell from her eyes. "I'm so sorry Indigo." She couldn't say it enough. She was sorry for what happened between them all those years ago, for losing his children, for destroying everything between them. And she was sorry for Aslatiel. As much as she felt like he could hate her and she could accept that, she could also act like no time had passed between them at all. She was still here for him. And she wasn't the woman she was all that time ago. She was done with the chasing, with the searching. She was done with everything. But she would do her best to help him until he didn't need her anymore. She was holding on for him while she had him.

"Duchess"