There it was. It always only seemed to be a matter of time. Crux could tell she was simply letting her mouth go and waited, though there was careful rigidity to his stance. He was walling off, dropping back into a safe sort of distance. His face a well worn mask of stoicism even though inside he was feeling that old bitterness and frustration well up. He knew she was only trying to be friendly, was trying to seem supportive even but it always got under his skin, that living his own life was some sort of story for others to gawk at.
"I am ambivalent to them." He started slowly, his words were careful, calculated to protect himself and not offend. "I don't know a life without them and they are a part of me and who I am. But I also struggle to walk on uneven terrain like sand, they force me to over extend which causes my hips to ache when walking for distances another wolf would consider trivial. I have nearly drowned because they make it hard to swim. My balance will always be more compromised. I do not hate them because they are me as much as any other part of my body but they make my life harder. You'll have to forgive me if the best I can offer is acceptance that they are there to begin with." He bit down on a desire to start getting too visibly and vocally angry, even if the last bit of that had been a little less than cordial. He also bit down on the part of him that tried to scream that they had killed his mother, that if it wasn't for him having them she'd have lived.
He took a moment, forcing air in and out through his nose. The next bit, the part that always got to him. Crux would have almost prefered she'd broken his toes, or shoved his face in a fire... At least his brother hadn't had the gall to make him feel othered while smiling to his face the entire time. He just wanted to live his goddamn life in peace! "With all due respect Mae, I would prefer not to be an inspiration. My life is harder. I've overcome a lot because it was that or lay down and die. I do not consider it inspirational that others live their own lives. I am not some sort of hero, I'm a wolf who was born with a disability that has made my life harder than others, I have learned how to overcome things because the truth of the matter is I had to. Help is not something that is often offered to wolves like me. We're expected to figure it out or drown so I frankly would prefer if my struggle, my survival wasn't used to make strangers feel good. All I'm doing, all I've ever done, is live." He could feel the heat rising in him and Crux knew he needed to leave. If he stayed he'd probably struggle to keep himself calm for much longer. He cleared his throat and started to shift away from her.
"Thank you for the information and good luck in your search." Cordial, the prince he'd been raised as to the end, even if his words were clipped. He started away, trying to veer off further into the woods. He needed to find somewhere to himself where he could just let out the frustration, let himself process the emotions raging through him. The anger, the frustration, the shame... The guilt... The gnawing feeling he had crossed a line, had said too much, had only pushed away someone who'd been trying their best. Even if their best made him feel like he wasn't ever going to be seen as the same as anyone else, made him feel like there wasn't a single thing he could do that wouldn't make him... Other.
-Exit Crux unless stopped-
"Speech"
