What have I done, what have I become.

「she was a conundrum; more than once contradicting herself in the same sentence. he snorted his nose, defusing his aggravation that flared frequently from listening to her, keeping his head cool while he painstakingly endured through it. 'we also do things to others we dont mean', his ears splayed from catching it. he growled then, brows furrowed as his thick accented voice cut her off. "No. you do things to others you do not mean. I have never made actions I did not mean. Take accountability of yourself." he watched her, his icy blue & chocolate brown eyes holding disdain for her. "You say you did not cause harm, 'except' for the day you did. And that you did not mean this?" a question he tested against her absurd judgement. "then is this not a fucking liability? you shift and turn-, let your emotions drive your actions." he spoke with contempt, his jowls clicking shut for a moment. explaining his point across where he felt they should've been perceived easily, was hard. his patience, thin.
his tail lashed to the side once, whipping at the wind. she played her little game that he saw through. he gave her time, now it was running up. "IF you want a mending of a friendship, you will offer me a permanency that you cannot change when you feel like it." he hated her emotionality. women's emotionality in general. they were never ideal leaders in any sense. he took his directive and drowned fic in it, leaving her no room to be confused. leaving no time for guesses. "strip and abandon your life as you know it. you want to make amends, to have access to me and to obviously rekindle whatever it is you think we can have-, then you will do this for me. Repay me for the scars you gave this relationship." his voice was cutting, direct and firm. he meant everything he said in this moment. he knew what he asked for and understood the weight of it. his mind already making plans and using this situation to his advantage. she was trusted once and burned him. now, he aimed to take away her tools and control her since she could not herself. this was her only option. "In doing so, you will be branded as a dunamis & join my clan; to then spread my bloodline." he carefully worded to her. "in this dynamic, I know you will not break my trust again." his terms for trusting her were drastic and intrusive no doubt. but he was quite fine with that. whereas if she was not, she had the option to walk away forever right now from him. no sleep was lost in either scenario. this was but a gift he offered her, you see; to become more than she had known before. to join a greater cause and have meaning. to have and keep a rightful place in his life.
hackles rose and he watched as her tail came to tread under his chin. he flashed pink gums, baring his fangs as if to yield her. wanting her to remain a respectable distance for now. 」