I'll Never See You Again if I Can't Help It

Noor · 10-16-2024, 07:10 PM

It was honestly amazing there was still more guilt Noor could feel. At this point she'd have assumed she'd felt all the guilt in the world and yet... Fable's comment seemed to stab straight into her heart. It wasn't like she hadn't wanted to go after Fable, hell she'd even had to be carefully watched to make sure she didn't spring Fable herself when she'd first been caught... But things moved quickly once Fable had escaped... And by then she knew she couldn't afford to put the woman in any further danger... And yet...

The irony of Fable trying to spare Noor's feelings was that Noor knew. She'd been doing it on purpose. Nothing too overt, nothing that'd be objectionable in the kitchen but gentle contact as she'd brushed by, or trying to catch Fable's eye, throwing her meaningful glances... Noor knew how to be distracting when she wanted to... She just didn't realize how much it had distracted her as well... That she'd missed the others spiking their own dishes.

"I believe you Fable, but after you escaped... The nobility, the gentry... They were rabid. I don't think they care who was involved at this point. They want blood. That's why I said it." Was Noor pouting? Maybe a little bit but it was also a cover. A way to avoid having to say the rest of the story. She wasn't outright lying, nothing she'd said was untrue but she also wasn't saying all there was to say. That she knew Fable hadn't been involved. That the nobility has been whipped into a frenzy by Noor's former compatriots so they could swoop in and save the day, maneuver themselves into a position of power. That the common folk's cries for justice had been formality. They cared only that whoever filled the power vacuum be better than the last king... That Noor had always been meant to take the blame. Because she'd been the one to poison the old man, to kill her own father.

Still hiding the truth. Still trying to save face. Like the coward she was.

Still there was something in Fable's declaration that she, Noor, wasn't going anywhere that caused a very unwanted fluttering. Noor tried to shut it down, but a tiny seed of hope was hard to kill once it was planted. So instead she reminded herself she didn't deserve to feel hopeful at all. That what Fable had meant had been to designate her as a means to an end, and nothing more.

"Yes chef." Noor said a little sullenly, feeling like a child being directed to bed. Then she curled up tight on herself. Burying her face in a tangle of limbs, which also helped to hide her tears and muffle her already hushed sobs. Exhaustion had gripped her all day and after her eyes had long since dried it finally, mercifully, took her away.

-Exit via sleep-

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