when you try your best but you don't succeed
ronan
01-02-2025, 05:09 PM
She thought that she had gotten used to the funny ways that fate liked to poke and prod holes in your sanity, but nothing could have prepared her for seeing Ronan stiffly come to her side at this moment. Makara's glasses were still too smudged to see, but it was something about the way he walked to accommodate those wings... just from the approaching stride, she could tell it was him. Once he got close enough, his scent finally gave him away entirely. A sick little laugh sounded in her head at the absurdity of it all, and for a moment she thought that she was laughing out loud and tried to snap her jaw shut to stop the sound, but the only sound that eked out was the click of her teeth when she closed her mouth. Pick your jaw up off the floor. There's work to do.
Hot tears that she'd been holding back bit and stung at her eyes behind the goggles, steaming them up from the inside out. At least he couldn't see that through the dried blood (she hoped). What reaction would be normal? What wouldn't push him away? As much as she wanted to scream and rage that life wasn't fair and that he'd conjured this scene up out of her nightmares with his casual cruelty, his utter indifference... she couldn't. She was finally without words. Her mother's violent and sudden death had stolen them all. For an absurd moment, she pictured Hanako hiding all of her words in some secret pocket. Not yet, Makara. Not until you're ready. I'm keeping them for now.
She did have her daughter's best interest in mind, once.
He spoke gruffly, his face still carefully schooled into neutrality. She wanted to shake him and scream: DON'T YOU SEE HER LYING THERE? SHE'S DEAD. DEAD. I WILL NEVER GET AN APOLOGY. I WILL NEVER FEEL HER WARMTH AGAIN. I WILL SEE HER EVERY TIME I STARE OUT AT THE NORTHERN SEA. I DON'T TRUST YOU WITH THIS SACRED TASK. YOU ARE A FOOL WHO CANNOT SEE BEYOND THE END OF YOUR OWN NOSE.
But she had no words. And she needed him.
Makara nodded behind her blood spattered goggles. All of the blood rushed to her head at once as she gently laid Hanako down and stumbled until her injured leg was aligned with his strong shoulder. She tried not to crush his wing between her shoulder and his leg, but the relief that passed through her body when she allowed herself to lean on him made her sloppy. As much as it killed her, she ceded her mother's body to his strength. He could carry her body home. Makara would carry her memory.
"speech"
Hot tears that she'd been holding back bit and stung at her eyes behind the goggles, steaming them up from the inside out. At least he couldn't see that through the dried blood (she hoped). What reaction would be normal? What wouldn't push him away? As much as she wanted to scream and rage that life wasn't fair and that he'd conjured this scene up out of her nightmares with his casual cruelty, his utter indifference... she couldn't. She was finally without words. Her mother's violent and sudden death had stolen them all. For an absurd moment, she pictured Hanako hiding all of her words in some secret pocket. Not yet, Makara. Not until you're ready. I'm keeping them for now.
She did have her daughter's best interest in mind, once.
He spoke gruffly, his face still carefully schooled into neutrality. She wanted to shake him and scream: DON'T YOU SEE HER LYING THERE? SHE'S DEAD. DEAD. I WILL NEVER GET AN APOLOGY. I WILL NEVER FEEL HER WARMTH AGAIN. I WILL SEE HER EVERY TIME I STARE OUT AT THE NORTHERN SEA. I DON'T TRUST YOU WITH THIS SACRED TASK. YOU ARE A FOOL WHO CANNOT SEE BEYOND THE END OF YOUR OWN NOSE.
But she had no words. And she needed him.
Makara nodded behind her blood spattered goggles. All of the blood rushed to her head at once as she gently laid Hanako down and stumbled until her injured leg was aligned with his strong shoulder. She tried not to crush his wing between her shoulder and his leg, but the relief that passed through her body when she allowed herself to lean on him made her sloppy. As much as it killed her, she ceded her mother's body to his strength. He could carry her body home. Makara would carry her memory.
pixel by king-lulu-deer on DA - coding by xarae
╔══════════════╗
╚══════════════╝