For my confusion and anger, I'm still uncertain

Nako let out a yelp at the bark given behind him and flinched as he turned to look at who had startled him, expecting to see his mother there and preparing a scolding for him. It was Loccian however a half smile being given sheepishly as she had appeared much quicker than he'd hoped for. His eyes rolled back to look at his forehead and gave it a quick shake to rid the remaining snow off of it that hadn't fallen off from Loccian's bark. The healer got closer when he looked up again, the winter skyfall cushioned his belly as the youngster lay in the snow submissively and pinned his ears back against his head with a downcast scowl as he remembered his manners.

"I'm practicing my tree killing, but uh, I dunno... also letting out frustrations and confusions... frustrations that I just don't know if I am apart of Seracia like my half siblings. That I'm a bastard pup and don't hold any weight in the world and I don't know if I'm even accepted in dis' pack. Like, the Chief's pups being better than my siblings for a stupid reason, but my half-siblings are better than me cuz they were born here which is stupid when I was born unto the same father but a different mother." Nako's voice was tinged with a growl as he spoke.

" Father said I reminds him of his younger years a few days before he never returned from that morning he left us." Nako felt a tinge of longing to try and go find his father, but then again didn't even know where to look even if his father was still alive. "Whenever I sit by the border I always think I see him moving in the trees along a ways away from me, but when I go to where we bury our dead I can't smell him." Nako nosed some snow between his paws absentmindedly, thoroughly baffled that he didn't know where his father was. "I can still see him poking his head back into the den and givin' me a smile... that was the last I ever saw of him...?