ardent

Trial Number One



The Judge

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12-04-2013, 11:13 PM

Rune v cormalin for practice



Round 1
cormalin:

8 for clarity- your wording for the attack got a bit scrambled, besides that everything was easy to read

10 for powerplaying- none

6 for defenses- decent starting defenses

5 for attack- decent attack, more could have been added though. also, i don't see how cormalin could charge then suddenly halt next to rune?

0 for injuries-First round

Round one cormalin Total: 29/50


rune:

10 for clarity- clear post

10 for powerplaying- none

5 for defenses- always add as many defenses to a post as you can

5 for attack- adding another attack would have bumped the score up

0 for injuries-
First round

Round one rune Total: 30/50

Round 2

cormalin:

10 for clarity- clear

10 for powerplaying- none

4 for defenses- mooorreeee defenses needed

5 for attack- one more attack needed, maybe he could have tried to claw rune while lifting his legs up?

8 for injuries- how raw/painful was the fur tearing? add that in with your injuries because the pain will effect the rest of the battle

Round two cormalin Total: 37/50


rune:

8 for clarity- it got a little jumbled up in the middle, be careful with that

10 for powerplaying. none

5 for defenses. a lot more are needed

5 for attack. more complex attacks needed

3 for injuries. you didn't clearly state the severity of the injuries in your post. remember, everything needs to be in your post, not just the bottom of the thread.

Round two rune Total: 26/50


Round 3
cormalin:

10 for clarity- clear

10 for powerplaying. none

5 for defenses. moooooorreeeeeee defenses needed

3 for attack. good defensive tactic, but attack wise, you would need much more than that. at least two complex attacks with both jaws and or claws

6 for injuries. could have been more detailed on the severity of the injuries

Round three cormalin Total: 34/50


rune:

8 for clarity- again, make sure to read over your post before posting it for grammar errors

10 for powerplaying. none

4 for defenses. already made notes about em

7 for attack. more complex attacks would have scored you more points

7 for injuries. injuries were decent, but more explanation would have scored more points

Round three rune Total: 36/50



Round 4
cormalin:

8 for clarity- got a little jumbled

10 for powerplaying. none

4 for defenses. already adressed this

5 for attack. more than one complex attack is needed

6 for injuries. "more scratches on the shoulder from Rune's bite" I would assume that vicious bites would do more damage than scratches even if he did manage to pull somewhat away
Round four cormalin Total: 33/50



rune:

10 for clarity- clear

10 for powerplaying. none

5 for defenses. mooorrreeee needed!

4 for attack. a few more complex attacks are needed

5 for injuries. you need to write the severity of the injures in the posts as opposed to the bottom

Round four rune Total: 34/50



Totals:


cormalin: 133/200

rune: 126/200



And the winner is...


cormalin! rune must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out.

Damage:


cormalin- Missing fur from ruff, brusing on chest, decent bite wound to shoulder, moderate bruising to stomach. Will take five OOC days to heal.


rune- Bruising on left side, moderate bite wound on scruff, slightly winded (will end AFTER his next post), further brusing from cormalins successful last attack. Will take five OOC days to heal.


Notes:



Tips for both writing, and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here)

For Bri
More defenses and more complex attacks! And also make sure to describe the exact severity of the injuries.

For mouser
same goes to you girl! More defenses and more complex attacks! And also make sure to describe the exact severity of the injuries



-You guys both did a good job, just make sure to work o the things that I suggested! Again, SO SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT<3

By [Aislyn]