The Future

*Ashtoreth* · 03-17-2014, 11:53 AM

Walk | Talk | Think

The ceremony was done and over with, and while she had gotten exactly what she wanted in the end - she could now claim Leon as her mate freely and with Erani's blessing - it had brought to the forefront of her thoughts a part of the mateship that she had been suppressing: children. It was not that she disliked them; they were often cute and amusing as they tried to keep up with the adults and learn their place amongst their family and pack. But for as long as she could remember Ashtoreth had worried about having a few of her own. They were such fragile, impressionable things, in need of constant care and requiring so much time and energy. She was sure she would be able to keep up, being a hunter and all, but how would she do raising kids? Could she do it, and decently too?

She continued to worry over those thoughts as she wound her way back to the den, the smile that should have been upon her face absent with only a small crease to her brow there to give evidence to troubled thoughts. Gold and purple eyes stared unseeing ahead, distracted by the visions within her mind. The grey wolf supposed it was only a matter of time before Leon mentioned it. Not to mention she was hardly getting any younger. If she was going to have them, now would be the time. If only her thoughts were in agreement.

With the den in sight, Ashtoreth hurried her pace and slipped quietly within. Empty. Not what she was hoping for. Each moment on her own was more time to give thought to her future, to worry herself sick with fears that she was inadequate and would fail her mate in this way. Her ears folded against her head with an airy sigh, and though she was not tired the petite wolf paced to the back of the den, turned once, and then proceeded to curl up tightly upon the ground. Hopefully Leon would return soon. Ash was not sure she was ready to voice her fears aloud to him just yet, but just having him close, to feel his reassurance wrapped around her, would ease her mind and calm her fears.

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