take my breath away
03-23-2014, 01:44 AM
It was like all the memories of her younger years came flooding back in extreme clarity. Her mother lying with her late at night while her brothers slept, telling her stories in her native tongue. She had had such a beautiful voice, so beautiful that it had seemed to continue instilling the fear within her that she could never sound like that. What if she had spoken and everyone had laughed? What if she had not been able to speak at all? It was as though all those fears that had started off as small things had eventually grown to such a big crippling social anxiety that had left her voiceless for almost two years. Two years of silence. Not even a squeak. She felt both a deep need to thank her mother and scream at her now that she had found her voice. Her mother had never pushed her and had never scolded her as a child, accepting her silence without a word but now Silana wished that her mother had pushed her. She could speak! She wasn?t a mute. Her vocals had been paralyzed with nothing more then a deep fear and shame, how had she not known that? His scent would hit her almost as harshly as running full tilt into a brick wall and it was like all of a sudden her smile was gone and her ears were flattening against her skull in a deep shame. Aeron. Oh how she had imagined this day, over and over in her mind she had imagined their reunion. Like before she had imagined it to be silent and tender, with him simply accepting her presence and her following along as she always had. Not like this. She turned slowly, the sounds of his paws on the ice echoing like thunder in her skull. She would stand, lifting herself to her paws and face him and taking a deep breath to prepare for whatever words he was ready to throw at her. But instead of his usual tones he spoke in a heavily accented tone, still pleasing but foreign to her. He had always spoken the language of their mother to her. It had always been something that had kept their mother alive in a way. Still she forced a bit of a smile, a shameful and nervous one but she didn?t respond to his comment right away. Could she respond? All those insecurities came trickling back and for a moment she lowered her head, gaze casting to the side. It was his next words that drew her back to the present and forced her to bring her gaze back to him. ?Ould ?ever leave long.? Her voice was barely a whisper, tongue struggling to form the words her mind was already well accustomed to. Even as she said them she found a frown furrowing her brow, that wasn?t what she had wanted to say. At least it wasn?t in complete clarity. He spoke again and she was brought back to the present. ?Been ?ere.? She said softly, tapping her paw against the ground to show that she meant this place, it was her favorite place and she rarely left it. For a moment she choked on her tongue, trying to make it form the words she wanted it to form. ?Je suis d?sol?.? (I?m sorry.) She said, the words flowing off her tongue easier then she had thought they would. Spending her childhood repeating her mothers word, mouthing the words to test them without sound seemed to have paid off. She didn?t really know how else to say it. She couldn?t say it enough, she was sorry for leaving him ever. Tentatively she would step forward, closing the distance between them and moving to push her head against his shoulder tenderly. ?O? avez-vous ?t??? (where have you been?) She asked softly, he no longer smelt like a pack and didn?t smell of any specific territory. Where had he been adventuring off to? |