Bad Luck

Confusion was an emotion she knew how to deal with. It was ingrained in the very blueprints of her being. She forgot who she spoke with. Forgot faces as soon as she saw them and forgot places and things she had done until one moment it all overwhelmed her and brought her home. She listened carefully to what her little mouse said. His voice was lost with the question. Had he forgotten? She almost laughed at the irony. Wasn?t that who she had been and was now? His response was appropriate. He had said that wherever it was that one would feel the most content then that was what one deemed their home. well, he had said it in a smaller way but she had translated it as such in her mind.

She heard the confusion fill his voice. The unknown seeping into his mind. Where was he from? Could he even remember if he just thought about it? could she? Well, yes she knew she was born an heir. She was the daughter of a highly admired alpha. Until those eyes haunted her dreams and drove away her memories. She tried to recall who they belonged to, why she feared them so desperately, but every time she tried she would wake up hours or days or even weeks from where she started. She had stopped trying to know the who but simply remember what she could. Nothing mattered what the door to the present. The past only made her long for things and the future seemed so far away that only dreamers saw its reality.

?When a heart finds its roots in something or someone then it knows its home.? she said in response to his words. ?I have found roots, they are seeking soil and nurture but where my keeper is I am unsure.? She said sadly. Zara had been absent since the day she had stolen Sade?s life. She needed her rock but in a way the distance was finalizing who she was becoming. The madness would steal her mind more then a time or two but she would remember those she protected. Those she ruled over. They would be what mattered to her. They would be her home.

?Maybe one day, when the sun is warm and the world is happy you can find your home again.? She said with a laugh. She had meant with her but the left the words alone. She didn?t want a bride or husband. She had no desire for such things. She was growing to love the feeling of the future twirling around inside her. They would be what she needed and cared for. The future she would build for them would be unbreakable. Their minds would be as sound as she could keep them, save for one, that one would know cruelty and torture but the others would know her heart better then she could name it. ?Did your lion love you once?? she questioned, often times she had wondered the same about her own. Why had her lion abandoned her? Left her for dead? When did she stop loving her?