Sand, Stars, and Sorrow.
03-25-2014, 08:32 PM
| Isabella |
|
"Why? Why is he staying, why not just leave? It would be easier for the both of us that way." Isabella thought as the male seemed determined to stay and help. She didn't really know if he was helping or not but at least she wasn't alone, right now she just didn't want to be alone. Loneliness wasn't something she really felt often, she liked to be alone but now she was happy this wolf who was basically a stranger stayed. He did more than stay though, he contused to speak. "Fear? I don't, fear....fear is useless to me. I don't fear karma or getting struck back, I don't fear forgetting I'd never do that. I don't fear myself....I can control myself I can. I am strong if I loose control, then I will fear myself and I will fear for others around me. I despise killing yet was so easily made to kill. How easy would it be for that to happen again, for some poor fool just facing a run of bad luck to die in such pain?" As she spoke it just sounded like she was repeating herself, going over the same things and in fact in her mind she was. Isabella was starting to feel worse and worse about herself, there was a moment when she wondered if she really was to blame, and if she could ever forgive herself. But that moment quickly faded as the darker emotions, the ones that built up mos tin her mind took over. "Forgive myself? No, never. If any wolf killed another I would never forgive them. If they were forced to then I-" She trailed off not really sure what to say. If a perfectly innocent wolf, one who saw the world as pure was forced to kill perhaps to save their own life or even the life of another then she would not blame them. No, she would only blame herself for any other wolf would have been strong enough not to kill, or at least that's what she told herself. "I-They are unworthy of such forgiveness." she spoke hoping beyond hope he did not catch the 'I' in her sentence. Siting in a cloud of her own disrepair her head lowered a the world around her faded away. All she could think of was every negative aspect of herself, every sorry every hate, every embarrassment she had directed toward herself emerged within her mind and ran over and over as she closed her eyes. "I am weak then, I have been holding this up so long but now those emotions I have kept quiet will simply kill me." She thought not even aware of Vaughan next to her. That was until he nudged her. Taken by surprise she was thrown off balance a moment but caught herself, displaced with a start as her eyes snapped open. Looking at the male she was nothing short of confused with him. He had accepted her? had accepted what she had done and still stuck by her? Why what good was she to herself, to others to the world. The part of her that sill sought to cover up her other emotions wanted to just turn her back on the male and keep quiet but there was something else, maybe the same part of her that didn't want to be lonely. Turning to him she met his eyes, tears threatening to spring from her own. There was only one question to ask and it came out in a weary, heavy voice. "Why?" "My words are for all.""My thoughts are not." |
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