The red-marked male dismissed the words of his long-lost enemy with a short growl, and although he was tempted to respond, he told himself that the night would be over much more painlessly if he kept quiet. He pretended that the words meant nothing to him, staying still and not even glancing back, but they were reeling in his mind, troubling him as the two lay there in silence.
How could she know what he had been through as a pup? She belonged there - she was part of the family, not the strange outcast that that had been dropped off there by fate, that the pack had no real obligation to! Both of his parents died before he was grown, and not one of those cold-hearted degenerates showed the slightest sympathy - excluding Sheylie?s fake plug, of course. They just continued to put up with him as always, letting him reside nearby and live off of their scraps. Maybe Frayer was a bit shy in his younger year, but that?s no good excuse for them all to go on without at least trying to talk to him! He was a curse, even before he started to give them reason to believe it with his harassment. They had always avoided him, despite what Sheylie thinks, all of them except her.
Her false kindness sickened him more than anything else in existence. It was a more deplorable kind of lie than the kind that Frayer told, by far! She preyed on the trust and love she built in others, and over the seasons would continue to construct the enormous illusion that she was perfect. Surely whatever had split her from the others had saved them from whatever grand despicable act she was planning to commit! Maybe there was even more purpose in her making herself the best target for the black wolf?s tricks, so that at the right time she could blame all of her ill deeds upon him!
Frayer thought about himself, the malicious thing he had become, and blamed it entirely on the other beings in his past. Had they raised him right, he would be as content with life as any other normal wolf! Had they fed him as they fed their own children, he could have grown to be a healthy weight, and a strong warrior, not the skinny sight he is! Had she not baited him every single day since they had met, he wouldn?t be the depraved villain of every story he took part in, but maybe an honorable hero instead! They had made him this way, and brought upon themselves every bit of bad he had subjected them to.
Even as he made those thoughts, somehow he wasn?t able to make himself believe them. It was the damn spirit that had possessed him earlier! It was toying with his mind now, the way he would do to gullible others that he met, but even knowing it was happening, he couldn?t stop it! He wanted to growl, to shout at the demon in him, but could not manage to summon up a small shard of anger, leaving him helpless and restless. And the voice repeated one suggestion repeatedly throughout these long, quiet moments: ?Talk to her!?
The urge was fought off with some struggle that entire time, up until that moment, after what may have been an hour of the two wordlessly watching the neverending downpour. He was tired, his mind and will were broken, and his defenses fell, just when the compulsion struck again. In a low, solemn, heartfelt voice, the kind of which he didn?t think he could speak in, he said, ?Sheylie... I?m...? he shivered, ?I...? but he was cut off. Only barely catching it in time, his usual self stopped the admission that would have destroyed him. What was he going to say... "I?m sorry"? "I missed you"? Worse still, "I love you"? But the problem wasn?t solved yet. Surely she heard those few stuttered words and would pry at him until she knew what he couldn?t say. Surely, because she hated him and wanted to torture him as much as he did to her.
OOC:
Sheylie is about the same size as Frayer, only a couple inches shorter, but Fray is thin.
|
|