He could barely bring himself to look at her, he could feel his shame from head to tail, threatening to drown him its mass of burning regret. She had appeared before him and he could see that innocent joy that took her expression, her beautiful face and the pretty eyes that set upon him, the smile that stole her expression, and his breath both. That smile possibly hurt him more then anything else, that pure joy that touched her features and brought life a new life to her beauty. He almost backed out in that moment, he almost couldn't bring himself to destroy her life. But no, Alpine had to complete his shame by not only forgetting her, by not only breaking his promise to her but now by being the one to teach her the hardest lesson of life, the harshness of reality. He would be destroying her dreams, destroying her... his tail tucked between his legs, his ears flat against his skull. He wanted to be anywhere else but here, anyone else but himself.
She would ask him what was wrong, he would wish the ground could swallow him, that a random bear could swag along and tear his sorry hide to shreds. She would move forward, her touch would be gentle against his muzzle, and he could see the worry in her eyes, the way she wanted him to be okay, to be happy. ?Oh Lyric? he said softly, his tone barely above a whisper. He suddenly didn't know how to do it, didn't know what to say. How could he explain himself? He barely knew it himself. He couldn't understand how he had forgotten her, why when he looked at her full of remorse and sadness it was with the emotion one might give a sister who he had to tell a family member had died. He had to do it, he could not leave it unspoken, but could not bear to see that innocence and joy so destroyed by his words, to be the one to do it.
?I...? his mouth ran dry, his words stilling in the air. He what? He couldn't love her any more, he couldn't continue this? God, the temptation to put on fa?ade, to pretend that everything was alright, almost swallowed him. But as ashamed as he felt, he knew she deserved better then a lie. He looked at her, he felt all the clich? words upon his tongue its not you, its me and he steeled himself to speak. ?Lyric, I'm a fool. I dont know how to tell you this, I don't know what to say, but I can honestly and truly tell you that I'm a fool.? He swallowed, feeling a burning sensation behind his eyes, his voice dry and hoarse and uncertain even to his own ears. ?I don't now.. oh, god, Lyric, I don't know how to say this? He truly was a coward, he fought the burning behind his eyes, felt the bloodshot taint that filled his blue orbs, but still he allowed not one tear to break lose. ?I can't.. dammit, Lyric, I cant tie myself to you? there. He said. He cringed, his flat ears pinned even further to his head, as he waited, not for the anger he deserved and yearned for, but for the heartbreak and upset, for the way he would destroy her.
"Speech"
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