The welling of shame was a constant companion he would keep this night, the feel of self hated and foolishness that overpowered him so easily he could almost forget what a smile felt like across his lips. He had said his peace, and he waited for her response. When it came, it stole his breath away, and he couldn't help it, a silent tear would force through his defences and drip down the length of his muzzle. The swell of pain that embraced was every bit as strong as a true injury, it did not matter that this one could not be seen, this one in his heart. ?But you love Me? she had said, and those four simple words was his betrayal, was how he would break her heart. You don't love me any more? each word was a stab to the heart, he was doing the dumping but he was equally sharing in the breaking. Her words where an accusation, and one he had no defence against. She could see it now, where his words had been leading, what he was trying to tell her. That innocent smile was gone, that innocence was gone.. he hoped to god, oh he hoped to god that Erani killed him for his. He would plead her for her fangs to sink into his neck.
She was crying now, and he ached to push them away, to turn this all around and go instead for the fa?ade, the lie. what happened? she asked him now, but he had lost his ability to speech. He could only stare at her, watch all the realisations that fluttered across her eyes, all the pains and tears and breaking, all the lose of innocence and know that he had been the one to destroy her world. This was all on him, all of it.
Her next part was the icing on the cake, that she turned this whole thing around and made it all her fault. Oh, gods, he couldn't break, he couldn't think, and for a moment all he could do was fight the tears that threatened to choke him. He knew they would only make matters worse, and hurt her even more. She already thought this was her fault! ?Lyric.. no... Lyric, I'm an ass-hole, I am truly something far worse then an asshole. You are sweet and beautiful and all the things right. I dont know where I went wrong, I dont know what I did, but I'm not the same any more. I'm so different now, that I dont know my own heart any more. I never meant.. oh, god, Lyric, I never meant to lead you on. And.. shit, no, never think you did something wrong, don't ever..? he choked, and couldn't finish his words, he could only look at her, his eyes filled with lose and hopelessness.
"Speech"
|
