Love You Like I've Never Been Broken

Gideon had not known exactly what to expect upon his arriving home. Dealing with all of it was an entirely too scary thought for him to cope with well, but the fact of the matter remained he had considered every possibility. Chrysanthe was gorgeous, and it wasn?t in bias that he said anything towards her appearance. She was regal--she carried herself like a Queen and presented the attitude of one; while she also had the exterior of a warrior. She was a winner in almost any way unless a man preferred a dainty thing that needed tending to and protection. She wasn?t one that anyone had to worry about ever really being harmed. Unless, you were Gideon and this was a constant fear. He?d never be able to let anyone directly hurt her and sit comfortably while they got away with it. So, what kind of husband was he that a mere month or so after she was wounded by the Glaciem king he disappeared? An awful one; most certainly. He wouldn?t beg for her forgiveness or her mercy, no--that would be much too much. It was not even that he would have been okay with it all. Though, if she had moved on to someone else it only meant that she was done with his sorry self and he was more than capable of getting by on the thought someone was making her happy. He only preferred that it was him.
?Still, for whatever reason she heard his call and she still came to him; that was the most surprising thing. She was coming to see him and she was moving so fast and she was everything that he could recall. She was beautiful and she moved with such an elegant purpose he couldn?t expect much else. A quick sigh rushed from his breath; and for various aforementioned reasons he half expected her to slam into him and make him regret the day. She should have punished him, but that was not going to be his reward for his wrongdoings. Not at her hand, clearly. A smile illuminated his face at the sight of her, but this was also a smile that held something melancholic. There was a bit of reluctance in his eyes too. He didn?t want her to forgive him. The scars on his flesh were not enough in his mind and he felt soured that he couldn?t offer her more for her trouble. Maybe there was pleasure that he had come back a bit different.

? Her kisses burned more than the fire that had touched his body. The love and excitement there was enough to have killed him, but immediately he returned the same affections. Touching her and nuzzling her and pressing his nose into the curve of her neck, breathing her in, and breathing his warm breath back onto her neck. She was marvelous. Especially to come to him as she was. A hard pressed smile rose across his features begrudgingly, but he could not deny the explicit happiness growing in his heart and in his mind. ?Chrysanthe,? The warm taste of her name was almost foreign and slightly taboo. He should not have been allowed to say it with so much happiness, but it was irrevocable. A sigh slipped from his muzzle as she began to question him. Gideon pulled away and stared at her with tireless charge. There was so much he needed to say, but so much he wanted to run from, ?You?re angry with me,? He was not going to question it. He almost needed her to be angry with him.

? ?I?m alright,? and it was no thanks to her brother and certainly no thanks to the fact that he loved her so damn much. She had been an almost pain monger to his mind for so long. Because he had known that leaving her was wrong. He had known that he should have said something--anything; if only to quell her fears. Though, maybe a sadistic part of him had hoped and prayed she would move on and leave him for someone so much better. Those thoughts alone should have been enough to prove it all to him. Still, his heart beat erratically even to just look at her and his mind seemed to move at inhuman speeds, ?Your brother and I got-well he got caught in the fire. I tried to save him. I think he was better off than me, actually,? He was proud to admit that it was in an act of heroism that he had acted, but it was alternatively an act of cowardice that had turned him to flee and to stay gone. For a year. He was not a good husband. Not a good man, ?I didn?t think you?d want something damaged. You?d do better without me,? He rolled his shoulders and his head angled downward as he stared at the ground to mumble a single thing more, ?Some things--or wolves don?t change. I?m standing here and even after everything I?m selfish because I still want to hold on to you. My love for you has always been a selfish thing, Chrysanthe. I just know somewhere that is not right,? Maybe the admittance of it helped some, but regardless; there was a terrifying bite to what ate at his mind.