Bring me back

The Knight listened to Gerhardt's words. As he spoke a sense if contempt overcame him. Why should he worry, why should he make himself so upset. He was too hard on himself indeed but the brute was so accustomed to the abuse he had received. And yet not a claw was to be lain on him. This was a good man; one if a kind heart of which the pack he ruled. This was a new land and a new King with new wolves. This was a new beginning with a new life! Yes so far there have been some ups and downs but it was time for him to pick himself back up. Obviously King Gerhardt had realized his absence; so he was the phantom no more. Octavian's sister Loccian and their brother Pontifex still had some catching up to do as well; they were slowly making their relationship better.

What plagued his thoughts so; was he the one scared of his deceased father. no, he was dead now from the words of his brother's maw. Yes he had been killed but what caused the fear rooted in his mind? His white gaze seemed to gaze off into space as he thought.

The brute was confused as of what it was until an idea came in mind. It was not the abuse but his mind. oh how kind the wolf was; always abused for how he had acted. To never be the kind of wolf Poxiterxo wanted him to be; then settling on his brother to infiltrate his mind with evil thoughts. But Pontifex was here now and trying to let go of the dark thoughts that have been planted in his mind. That was what Octavian was afraid of. Was his mind a ticking time bomb? Was it going to break at one single crack and make those thoughts and lessons come into effect? No! He would not let that happen. But to be a wolf he did not want to be would be torture. Why must one change how oneself is.

Then again....he was his father's son and his brother's brother. The same blood...why not the same mind. No, he and Loccian were pure. There was no insanity there. Oh how the war raged on in the brute's brain. When would it end and how or with what.

So he stood there with his answer.

".....Yes my King, I do believe I have been hard on myself but this is how I may learn. I may not learn by the claw or a sharp strike of the paw anymore; for it has never worked. Even so....I do have my brother and sister. My life is not over until I have died for this land and its inhabitants. And you are right; there is nothing to be upset about. I have my life, my siblings, my home, and my fellow Seracians.....to me this life seems perfect as is now. I should consider myself lucky for there are those who have nothing. If I may ask would you have anything else for me to do so that I may focus more on something else? Of course I may go back to my daily duties but I just need something else to take my mind off things for a while. Something else has turned up and I am not sure how I am taking everything all at once." He said with a furrow on his forehead.