I CAN FEEL YOUR HEARTBEAT BABY

The Judge · 05-11-2014, 06:41 PM

Viridiana vs. Destruction for Seracia

Round 1

Viridiana:

1 for clarity--2 ?throwing her hips over so she swung around? swung around which way? -5 ?Fangs sot to find purchases on the woman's back, ribs, shoulder or flank? specify where exactly Viridiana is attacking, don?t list options. Otherwise it becomes extremely confusing and in a lot of cases impossible to aptly respond to. -2 How exactly is she attempting to pull Destruction?s elbow? Backwards? Outwards? Frontward?

0 for powerplaying. -3 ?throwing her hips over so she swung around in a moment of unbalance to make a T with the larger woman? you need an attempt phrase here. You can?t just assume she was able to make this position with Destruction, as it assumes Destruction did not move. -3 ?Jaws would almost immediately seek another target? You need to give time for Destruction to respond to Viridiana?s initial attack with her jaws before attempting another jaw attack. -5 ?Should her bite fail or grip release then she would back peddle, looking to have the woman follow her a few steps.? Conditional; essentially the same issue as the above deduction. Conditionals don?t give time for the other character to respond, and unfairly squeeze another move into a post. Also, this would be a lot of movement in a single post, for Viri to pivot and go forwards and step back.

10 for defenses. neck arched, jaws parted, ears pinned, eyes narrowed, hackles raised, tail tucked, legs bent, legs equally apart, head lowered

4 for attack. +1 for initial bite (incredible vague so hard to tell much about this attack. It?s not aimed at a vital or particularly painful area on Destruction, so combination of these two things brings this attack down a point) +3 for elbow attack

10 for injuries.First round

Round One Viridiana Total: 25/50

Destruction:

0 for clarity-?scoring across her right shoulder as Destruction moved to action? this is not a deduction because it was not specified which way Viridiana pivoted, but I believe that the attacks were aimed at Destruction?s left side, not her right. -2 how deep/severe was the wound to her shoulder? -2 ? side stepping as the red wolfess launched her second attack? side stepping to which side? -3 Where on Viridiana?s scruff is she attempting to grab? -3 ?seek any flesh upon her face? where on her face?

0 for powerplaying. -3 no damage mentioned to leg when Viridiana grabbed it other than a mentioned grip. -3 ?The attack, at the very least, would encourage the other woman to drop the grip she had on her leg. ? Don?t assume what would and would not encourage the opponent to do something. -5 ? Should her attack fail, and the other woman realize her tactics before it was too late, her jaws would seek any flesh upon her face as she tried to pull away? conditional, and also double use of jaws which does not give Viridiana enough time to respond to her attack. -3 a lot of movement with the potential pull back and re-launch forewards

10 for defenses. legs spread, weight evenly distributed, toes spread, claws gripping soil, eyes narrowed, ears pinned back, shoulders rolled, head lowered, jaws parted, hackles raised, tail tucked

4 for attack. +2 for bite to scruff (minus two for vagueness, plus one for additional shaking attempt) +1 for bite to face (minus two for vagueness) +1 for chest attack (minus two for vagueness)

10 for injuries. moderate cut to shoulder. Moderate punctures/grip to shoulder First round

Round One Destruction Total: 24/50

Round 2

Viridiana:

0 for clarity- -4 what specific damaged was done to her neck due to the bite? The shake? -2 ?Desctuction'ss hip? which side? -4 ?before once more sliding her hips around? sliding her hips around where? How? In general her movement is vague and confusing and doesn?t give a clear picture for how they?re aligned. -5 ?Like a viper she would strike, attempting to launch herself at the nearest flesh she could find. Whether that be the side of Destruction's neck (preferable) at her artery, her jugular or chest she didn't care.? See note in first round about the vagueness of attacks.

1 for powerplaying. -3 ?if Destruction would plant then the leg would be released? conditional. -3 for too much movement. It sounds as if Viridiana moved in one direction with her hips, and then the complete opposite direction. This is too much movement in a single post. -3 for double jaw attack; as previously mentioned, you should only use the jaws once in a post in order to give your opponent time to respond to your attack.

7 for defenses. legs spread, limbs bent, ears pinned, eyes narrowed, tail tucked, neck scrunched, shoulders rolled

3 for attack. +1 for leg yank (not sure how it?s possible considering how severely Viridiana?s being shaken, extra point granted for attempting to grip down hard and tear into bone), +0 for hip slam (not really an effective attack, and likely to cause Viridiana to rip her own neck apart as she twists and pivots) +2 for bite (vagueness deduction),

5 for injuries. -5 for severe bite/muscular damage to back of neck

Round Two Viridiana Total: 16/50

Destruction:

0 for clarity- -4 how severe was the damage to her elbow? The damage to her neck? -5 where is she hoping to catch Viridiana with her kick? -2 I think you confused the term parallel. If something is parallel, they would be standing side by side. If this is not the case, then the way the post was phrased made it sound as if that was what you meant. -3 ?aiming to slam her body into the red femme?s own? which part of Destruction?s body is she trying to slam into Vi?

0 for powerplaying. -3 if her foot was dragged back a foot, that?s quite a significant distance. I truly don?t understand how Destruction was not tripped. -3 ? but once Destruction had spun her body around so that she was going in a way that would be more parallel to the woman she faced. ? don?t assume Viridiana wouldn?t move out of the way. -3 There seems to be quite a bit movement in this post, from pivoting to head on to moving back at some point to create distance to charging forwards again. Give your opponent time to react to your movements. -8 ?If her move would go as planned she would be able to tear herself loose from the other woman?s hold. ? First, this is a conditional, and second don?t assume that Destruction would be able to do so as you haven?t given time for Viridiana to react. Also way too much movement. -3 ?so that she could then once more turn to face her? too much movement. -3 for not taking damage or even mentioning Viridiana?s hip attack. -3 ? Should that fail however,? conditional

6 for defenses. legs spread, weight evenly distributed, ears pinned, eyes narrowed, hackles raised, tail tucked, toes spread, claws gripping ground, head lowered, shoulders rolled -2 for lifting off the ground and not adjusting stance -2 for using paw to attack and not adjusting stance for balance

2 for attack. +0 for kick (too vague, and if they?re parallel they are standing side by side, therefore making it impossible for Destruction?s kick back to hit anything on Viridiana) +2 for leg swipe (considering she has ligament damage in her left limb, she?d be rather off balance while attempting this) +0 for body slam (extremely vague, and it?s kinda impossible/likely to put Des off balance as she moves to try to hit Viri?s right side, especially considering ligament damage in Destruction?s leg )

1 for injuries. -4 severe punctures/ligament damage to leg -3 grip to neck -2 for moderate bruising to hip (assessed by judge)

Round Two Destruction Total: 9/50

Round 3

Viridiana:

0 for clarity- -2 ? one paw ? which paw? -2 what damage exactly was done to her jaws? -5 ?hopefully throw open jaws upwards at Destructions chest or throat (preferred)? see previous notes about being specific. -4 ?Destruction?s upper leg? where on her leg? Which leg? -2 ? Vi attempted to throw weight over a bit ? over in which direction?

8 for powerplaying. -2 ?? using her smaller height to avoid as many attacks as possible before? picky, but this borders on a conditional. Be careful with your wording, as this assumes she?d be able to avoid these attacks. ?In an attempt to avoid as many attacks as possible? would be better

8 for defenses. head dropped, neck scrunched, shoulders rolled, hackles raised, paws spread, center of gravity lowered, eyes narrowed, ears pinned back, tail lashing, jaws parted, toes spread, claws biting into the ground for traction -2 not adjusting balance when lifting leg for attack

3 for attack. +0 attempting to further damage to Destruction (at least the paw attack to Destruction?s leg seems unprobable given the angle) +1 attack to chest or throat (vague, and likely to injure Vi?s neck if she suddenly collides full force with Destruction?s chest or neck head on)+2 for leg attack (deduction for vagueness) +0 for weight attempt (given that Vi?s leg is currently lifted up, she?s likely to fall over as well, where she?d be likely to be at a disadvantage due to size)

6 for injuries. -1 furthered damage to neck, -3 dazing/damage to jaws

Round Three Viridiana Total: 25/50

Destruction:

2 for clarity- -2 how severe was the damage to her neck? -2 how were her jaws attacking Vi?s neck? -2 how severe was the damage to her neck? -2 where on Vi is she hoping to hit with her body?

4 for powerplaying. -3 too much movement. Destruction hops back and forwards at the same time, giving little time for Viridiana to react. -3 ? Her front left leg would have the paw hit the ground hard as she hopped closer to the woman. ? considering Destruction?s front left leg has ligament damage, this really wouldn?t be possible.

5 for defenses. eyes narrowed, ears pinned back, head lowered, tail tucked, claws biting into soil, legs spread, weight evenly distributed, shoulders rolled, hackles raised

2 for attack. +2 attempting to further damage neck (vagueness), +0 for body flop (she?s basically throwing herself further into Viridiana?s jaws, which would further damage her throat and maybe even make her bleed out. It?s also a really vague attack)

2 for injuries. -1 further damage to leg, -3 open wound on neck -4 deep punctures to neck/throat

Round Three Destruction Total: 15/50

Totals:

Viridiana: 66/150

Destruction: 48/150

And the winner is...

Viridiana! Destruction must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out.

Damage:

Viridiana- deep wound to neck (1 ic month to heal with permanent scarring)

Destruction- ligament damage to leg (2 ic months to heal, potential for permanent limp), deep wound shoulder/neck (1 ic month to heal, scarring), deep punctures to throat (1 ic month to heal)

Notes:

Tips for both writing, and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here)
As a disclaimer, I am a very harsh judge. You both did do rather well! Most of what I had to say specifically is listed in the notes, but I?ll go over some general pointers. A big deduction for both of you was being too vague. If your wolf wants to bite another?s leg, specify where. Specify how your wolf tilts your head. ?Bob attempted to twist his head to the right and bite the middle of Bart?s upper front right leg? is good. ?Bob attempted to bite Bart?s leg? is incredibly vague and can put you at a disadvantage as it leaves much up to your opponent. Also, avoid conditionals! They only ever cause confusion in fights and are a form of powerplay.

Dione- Don?t give options with your fight! Pick exactly where you wish to attack and attack it! I thought you did a good job with being realistic with Viridiana?s damage levels and making sure she took an appropriate level without being too handicapped. I thought you kept her attacks realistic to her size, and definitely kept to a style given that she?d be more agile than a larger wolf like Destruction.

Keno- I liked how you were realistic with Destruction?s damage, but also keep an eye on how that damage would affect her fighting! If she has ligament damage in a leg, she probably will be unable to use that leg. Also watch how much movement your character makes! Also perhaps see about ways that you can use counters to lessen the damage received, so that she?s not so battered. You did use Destruction?s size to her advantage some, which is also commendable!

In general I enjoyed the fight! It was creative and well written, and I could definitely see the personalities of the characters through their movements. If you guys have any questions, feel free to PM me! Sorry for the wait on this as well. AP Exams ate me!

- By [MUSE]

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I CAN FEEL YOUR HEARTBEAT BABY

The Judge