As much as I ever could
04-29-2013, 08:22 PM
He tried to picture his life, his future with an unknown bride. He imagined the wedding, standing in some beautiful meadow with flowers all around, and Chrysanthe strolling toward him - beaming from ear to ear. He imagined Collision and Gerhardt, how they would smile over the ordeal as the two said their vows. How everyone would cheer as the newly wedded couple would emerge as husband and wife. How everyone in Seracia would be so happy to see them strolling about their home, how one day they would have kids, and stand as King and Queen of this beautiful land. How their kids would grow and prosper, and one day take the throne for themselves. How wonderful it all would be, and yet.. how unsatisfying. He couldn't imagine not being satisfied with such a vision - it was all he'd ever dreamed of. And yet, he didn't want it if it meant being with a woman he didn't love. Oh sure, others would assure him that he would grow fond of her, and perhaps even fall in love somewhere down the road. But at some point he would have to dive in without that love, that pure unadulterated affection, and he was not sure if he could do it. Epiphron continued to praise her sister, but it did little to abate the Prince's fears. Lovely as she may be, she was not the woman he loved - and she never would be. Could he ever see his bride to be as just who she was, and not the sister of the girl he loved? He wouldn't be disappointed. How little she knew. Every moment without the one he loved was a disappointment, every second without her, a loss. Oh, he would get to see her every now and then, when business called, or politics were demanded. He was sure during those times his love for her would reignite, and once more he would begin the painful process of forgetting her. He wondered if he'd ever fully forget her, ever fully forget the love he felt when he so much as thought of her name. "I'm not sure that's true." He would utter almost halfheartedly. It was no use to try and woo her any longer. The game was over, and he had lost. She mumbled something, but it was lost to pained ears. He only focused when she stepped closer, narrowing the gap between them. She apologized and he shook his head with vigor. "No. I needed this, we both did." He would not take an apology from her. He knew what he had to say next, though he was not sure his body would allow him to do so. "We needed to be able to say - to say goodbye." He paused, a sigh slipping from his lips. "You know how I feel about you, but I can't go against my father. If this is what he wants.. I've got to go through with it." He tried to make it sound like an obligation - which indeed it was. Not a hint of happiness went with his speech, because in reality there was none. How could he be happy about this? "speeeeech" |
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