Coming Together (Tortuga Event)
06-29-2014, 10:34 AM
Dayton vs August for Spar Round 1
Dayton: 4 for clarity -2 what angle is Dayton approaching August? -2 How did he get at the area behind August's shoulder, I got a bit lost reading your attack -2 what area behind the shoulder? upper? lower? going for the ribs? Try to be a bit more specific in your attacks. 5 for powerplaying. -3 you don't know that your attack will for sure catch your opponent unawares. You can hope it does but don't assume. Same for knocking him off balance and knocking the air out of him. He could move. -2 you need an attempt phrase for the skull attack 8 for defenses. +1 for each seen 3 for attack. +2 for shoulder attack, +1 skull attack (points deducted for powerplay and the odd angle he'd have to be in to get his head under August's if his right shoulder is currently behind Augusts left. 10 for injuries.First round Round one Dayton Total: 30/50 August: 1 for clarity -2 which way did he side step -2 how did he raise himself? stand on his toes? lift his head? -2 what part of his head is he colliding with Dayton? The jaw? -2 how's he going to go from colliding his head to getting a bite on the shoulder? I wasn't sure on that. -1 also how is the bite going to cripple him? Is he going for tendons? Attempting to dislocate? Work on making your characters aim in an attack a bit more specific 8 for powerplaying.-2 you need a separate attempt phrase for the jaw attack as well 8 for defenses. +1 for each found 4 for attack. +1 headbutt (full points not given because clarity), +2 jaw attack (full points not given for pp), +1 maim attempt 10 for injuries.First round Round one August Total: 31/50 Round 2
Dayton: 3 for clarity--2 general clarity issues (try using the name of your wolf and your opponents wolf more frequently. Lot's of he's and him's in succession can get confusing. -1 your attack was a bit hard to follow, what happens if his movement tracking is set off? -2 where on August's back is he hoping to hit? What is the 'weak point'? -2 What is he aiming to press on Dayton's back? paws? forelegs? chest? 1 for powerplaying.-4 you must state why an opponents attack missed completely, especially as Dayton was dazed by the head attack and less likely to efficiently dodge -2 jumping from one side to the other is a lot of movement and doesn't leave time for your opponent to respond -3 Even if your attack lands successfully there's no guarantee your opponent with fall. There's also no guarantee that August falling allows Day to get at his throat. Try to avoid making assumptions. 6 for defenses. +1 for each seen 3 for attack. +2 for attack to back (full marks not given for clarity) +1 throat attack (points not given for powerplay) 8 for injuries. -2 for bruising Round two Dayton Total: 21/50 August: 3 for clarity- -3 counter attack was very difficult to follow -2 general clarity issues, again these could be cleared up by using the characters names. -2 moving his body which way? 7 for powerplaying. -3 allow your opponent time to respond to an attack "baring his teeth and snapping at the golden boy's throat as well, only the golden boy was swifter than he," 8 for defenses.+1 for each seen 1 for attack.+1 feint to slam head into Dayton's 5 for injuries.-5 bite to the throat Round two August Total: 24/50 Totals:
Datyon: 51/100 August: 55/100 And the winner is...
August! Dayton must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out. Damage:
Daytonsince this spar is so old won't bother with ooc healing times xD Augustsince this spar is so old won't bother with ooc healing times xD Notes:
For Requiem Really be careful of making assumptions of your attacks and make sure to add in attempt phrases. You can hope that an attack will do such and such to an opponent but there's no guarantee. It's up to them to decide damage. Also work on your clarity and being more specific in your wolf's movements. For Starry Work on making your posts more clear. A lot of the clarity issues could be cleared up by using the characters names more frequently as stated above. Also try doing more complex or damaging attacks to get your attack score up. Thanks guys! - By [Lunarcat7]
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