ready aim fire
06-30-2014, 08:57 PM
Wren vs Desire? for Spar Round 1
Wren: 1 for clarity- -2 which shoulder is she attack with? -2 swing her body which way? -2 you need to specify where on the chest you're aiming for -2 what side of the neck is she aiming for? How's she planning to position her jaws? -1 what angle is she approaching at? 3 for powerplaying.-3 "Her body was moved in dangerously close to the woman" You need to attempt to close distance, don't assume your opponent let you get close. -4 you need to give your opponent time to respond to your attacks. There was way to much movement in this post. Adding a bunch of "if this then this" statements afterwards can get confusing and isn't fair to your opponent who could move and render all of those things null. 8 for defenses.+1 for each seen 4 for attack.+2 for shoulder throw (-1 for clarity). +2 jaw attack (-1 for powerplay) 10 for injuries.First round Round one Total: 26/50 Desire?: 4 for clarity--2 "had no time to think about the potential bruising" you need to specify what damage the attack did. -2 general clarity issues, I had a lot of trouble reading through your attacks. -2 how did the side step cause Wren's teeth to fall on Des' back? Where on her back did they land? 6 for powerplaying.-4 give your opponent time to respond to your attacks. You had several jaw attacks in succession both were for holds. 10 for defenses.+1 each one seen 5 for attack.+3 bite to neck +2 bite to foreleg (-1 for powerplay) 10 for injuries.First Round Round one Total: 35/50 Round 2
Wren: 0 for clarity- -2 more detail is need in the damage that Des attack did. -2 "Wren whipped her head around" which way? -2 which paw is she lifting? you need to say in your post. -1 even if she cant see where her paw is aiming you still need to state where she was hoping to hit -2 which way is she hoping to yank Des? -2 how far did she swing herself to the left? What angle is she at in position to Des? 5 for powerplaying.-3 once again give your opponent time to respond to attacks instead of piling up one on top of the other. -2 you need to attempt to pull down on the chunk of flesh from Des' back. Again she could move and ruin that attack so you can't say it happened for sure. 2 for defenses. +1 for each seen -2 not rebalancing when lifting paw 4 for attack.+2 paw attack (-1 for clarity) +2 jaw attack (-1 for powerplay) 6 for injuries. -3 to major bite wound -1 bruising Round two Total: 17/50 Desire?: 4 for clarity- -2 which side of her neck? The center of the front of her neck? the left side? right side? -2 how does she swivel her body? which way? -2 what position is Des in in relation to Wren? If your opponent fails to specify you can and should determine the position 4 for powerplaying.-2 " The paw would hit her nose, though no injuries seemed to have taken place"I imagine taking a paw to something delicate like the nose would cause some sort of damage. -2 "lower her body at the last moment " at the last moment assumes the distance was closed. -2 again, a lot of movement and I know you can't help it in response but you don't need to answer each of your opponents attacks with another attack. The multiple attacks with the same body part are the reason for this deduction. 9 for defenses.+1 for each seen 5 for attack. +3 jaw attack +2 headslam 8 for injuries. -2 hit to nose Round two Total: 30/50 Totals:
Wren: 43/100 Desire?: 65/100 And the winner is...
Desire?! Wren must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out. Damage:
Wren:- bruising will take a few ooc days to heal, major bite will take 2 ooc weeks Desire?:- bruising will take a few ooc days to heal, moderate bite will take 1 ooc week Notes:
For Salmon There's no need to bold the word attempt. We can read. Powerplaying was your biggest issue, you're trying to fit in too many attacks in succession into one post. This makes it difficult for your opponent to respond and quickly leads to a messy fight. Also work on your clarity. Devils in the details as they say, you need to be specific. For Luisiana Good work. I know it's hard responding to lots of attacks but that doesn't mean you need to throw as many back. This affected your clarity and powerplay scores. Remember it's unlikely for a wolf to get in two attacks with the same body part (jaws, etc.) in one round. Work on keeping your movement as succinct as possible. Thanks guys! - By [Lunarcat7]
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