sea of blood [SPAR]
07-08-2014, 11:04 PM
Mirabelle v Motif for Spar Round 1
Mirabelle: 2 for clarity. -2 did not specify which side she was trying to come at Motif from (front, left, right) -2 did not specify where her jaws were intending to land (lower jaw and upper jaw where? Which angle?) -2 ?somewhere? please specify where she is intending to bite 3 for powerplaying. -2 ?she lunged? you must attempt to do this. -2 ?her teeth snapping to bite? you must attempt to do this. -3 ?if motif moves, she would be able to keep moving? you cannot put conditionals (explained in comments) in your post 7 for defenses. +1 for each seen. Rolled shoulders, paws spread, knees bent, claws flexed, ears flattened, eyes narrowed, tail parallel to spine, tight muscles, hackles up, neck tucked. -3 on 3 paws without redistributing balance 5 for attack. +3 for bite -1 for conditionals +3 paw swipe 10 for injuries.First round Round one Mirabelle Total: 27/50 Motif: 4 for clarity. -2 what damage was done to her shoulder from the bite? -2 which way did she throw her weight? Did she lean, hop etc. -2 which way did she strike at Mira?s ear? 3 for powerplaying. -2 ?would throw her weight forward? you must attempt to do this -2 ?getting the proximity? must attempt to do this -3 ?should the bite land? conditional 8 for defenses.+1 for each seen. Spreading weight, clenching toes, pinned ears, eyes narrowed, tail out, shoulders rolled, chin tucked, hackles raised. 3 for attack.+3 bite 10 for injuries.First round Round one Motif Total: 28/50 Round 2
Mirabelle: 9 for clarity. mostly clear. 0 for powerplaying. -2 ?she shuffled backwards? you must attempt to do this -2 you cannot assume that Motif gaze Mira time to back up and rest her defenses and then come back to attack ?2 ?Mira let herself crash down? you must attempt to do this -4 ?should motif move out of the way, Mira would try to follow? conditionals ? 2 ? you cannot assume that even if Motif moved that Mira would be able to land and give chase 10 for defenses. +1 for each seen. Spreading paws, stretching toes & digging claws into ground, bent knees, flattened ears, eyes narrowed, tucked head, rolled shoulders, teeth bared, tail aligned with spine, hackles raised. 2 for attack. +2 rake of claws (cannot give points for attacks that are conditional on movement) 8 for injuries. -2 ear nip Round two Mirabelle Total: 29/50 Motif: 9 for clarity. mostly clear. 10 for powerplaying. none seen. 10 for defenses. +1 for each seen. Spacing legs, bending limbs, toes spead & claws dug into dirt, tail outstretched, shoulders rolled forward, head lowered, eyes narrowed, lips pulled back, neck scrunched, chin tipped down 3 for attack. +3 bead butt 10 for injuries. none taken. Round two Motif Total: 42/50 Totals:
Mirabelle: 56/100 Motif: 80/100 And the winner is...
Motif! Mirabelle must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out. Damage:
Mirabelle - Nick to the ear, will bleed profusely for a few IC days unless treated, will heal in 1 OOC week. Motif - Moderate bite to the left shoulder, bruising on skull pending response. Bite will take 2 OOC weeks to heal, bruising will go away in a few IC days. Notes:
Tips for both writing, and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here) Notes For Keanai I think this was your first fight here? If so you did great! The judging system takes a bit to get used to. Powerplaying and clarity were your two biggest things, you need to be as specific as possible with where your attacking, what angle your coming from, where your attack intends to land (like your second post!!). With powerplaying you need to attempt to do anything and conditionals got you both. You cannot lay out a second attack biased on how your opponent will move in their new post or say ?if attack a lands then I will do attack b as well?. But other then that great job! Message me if you have any questions!! As well I don?t usually count curling lips or baring teeth as a defense, you could elaborate and say ?Mari curled her lips back, baring teeth and also pulling loose flesh into a snarl so folds of skin would further protect her eyes?. Or something like that. For next time! For Sea Conditionals still!! I skyped you about your first post but your last one was great! The only thing I would suggest would be to try for a bite and maybe throw in a paw swipe to one of those two paws left on the ground. More complex attacks get more points! Aso look at the note for Kea on the snarling thing! - By [Dione]
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