She did not need to look up to know what she said hurt them. But she just couldn't help those worrying thoughts. She just didn't want to go though that struggle and pain again, she didn't want her children to ever see that kind of life from anyone in the family. Her mother's words made her bristle under her skin. Perhaps Symphony had changed much more than she thought. She was more hot headed now, more bold with her words. But had not Song caused that in a way? If Symphony had never found her voice she would not have Gitan or any or her children. Had not Detest and Jupiter caused it too when she had been accused of being traitor? Her ears would twist back but not lay flat upon her skull.
She had always liked her father more. His voice was calmer, gentler and he seemed more even tempered than her mother. She would look up at the both of them for a moment to think over their words. "I just cant help worry. I do want to trust you two. But..i jut feel like I cant relay on the family anymore. When I first got here and found Song things were good. I became the healer of the pack and in doing so I wished to make a bond with other pack healers. Thus in times of great dire we might aid one another. But then I was accused of being a traitor by the old alpha's trusted friend. When questioned I told them I was not and looked to Song. The sister I had always looked to when I needed someone and she sat there in silence!" Her voice had raised as the anger returned to her from the memory. She still could not forgive Song for it."It did not help I felt that Song had replaced our family with Silent her "new mother" I couldn't understand why she would do that. I guess I just wanted things to be back to normal, for all of us to be close again, that I hated Silent for it. For taking Song away from me. I was angry with Song..Then Howl grew distant on us all. I met Gitan who was from a different pack. It was hard for us. I knew at once he had stolen my heart. When our packs saw differences in alliances he thought it was best for us to depart. But I couldn't let him go. He was the only one to make me smile those days. I felt so alone from Song and Howl. So outcasted. So when Song called for a meeting I stated I was leaving to be with Gitan. The guilt Song pressed on me was destroying. But I wasn't happy here, not at that time. How could I when my heart and soul was with someone not there? " She shook her head slowly, eyes closing as she thought back.
"Howl was the one to tell Song it was my right to leave, that everyone had a right to follow their heart. So for a while it was just Gitan and me. Till I became pregnant with his pups. During a horrible storm we fled our island and I feared for the family here. And well I've been here since, kinda. When I gave birth to my children only Novel, assisted in my labor and delivery. Novella was the only other family there. And she was there even days after, visiting often. But no one else was there, no one came. I understand Song had her pups hours after me so I understand that." Retelling everything was exhausting and her body slide down as front paws crossed over one another."When the earthquake came I had just gone out to think. I don't remember where I was going, I guess I was looking for something to help Anthem. But the earth opened under me and I fell in, breaking my leg. I was stuck there in the dark in pain. It took me days to find the strength to get out. I owe my pups for that. My dire need to see them and be with them was the only thing that brought me home. I was...in a dark place then. Everyone was my enemy, and I nearly attacked Gitan when I came back." She paused to look up at her parents, pleading for them to understand. She so badly needed her family to be there for her, needed her parents more than she could ever imagine.
"Speech"
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