Slinking Shadow
07-26-2014, 10:08 AM
Laufey v Liste for Dominance/ Rape Round 1
Laufey: 6 for clarity- -2 'in the hopes of avoiding her teeth' How close was she? -2 'encircling the fae's upper neck,' more to the left or right? Right at the top of just above the centre? 6 for powerplaying. -2 for for not readjusting balance after so much movement with limbs. -2 you'd have to tilt his body slightly to be able to grab her neck and put paws around her, you didnt mention the movement. 8 for defenses. +1 for each seen 6 for attack. +3 for aiming jaws to bite neck, +2 for paws wrapping around neck +1 for trying to control the wolf. 10 for injuries.First round Round one Laufey Total: 36/50 Liste: 3 for clarity- -2 'on her forehead and sank deep,' is it more to the side or dead in the centre? -2 'bite on the left side of his neck.' nearer the bottom or top? -3 'hoping to hit the side of his neck with enough force' which side of the neck? Left or right? Where abouts on the neck? The centre? 1 for powerplaying. -2 'moving away from him.' you cant assume she was successful with moving away, put in an attempt. -3 'and his paws missed their mark, being that her neck was now out of range.' its pretty hard to miss the mark, if his jaws where able to get her forehead surely his paws would atleast briefly hit her neck, muzzle or face.-2 'to leave her standing perpendicular to the brute?s neck ' you need an attempt to get into this position, or else its classed as powerplay. -2 when she was moving to become perpendicular and then jumped is far to much movement, fights happen very quickly. 10 for defenses. +1 for each seen 5 for attack. +3 for attempted bite +2 for shove with paws 10 for injuries.First round Round one Liste Total:29 /50 Round 2
Laufey: 1 for clarity- -2 'coming at the side of his neck.' which side? -3 'Laufey's response put them almost head on.' You cant assume that he was successful with becoming nearly head on, make sure to add in an attempt. Also what do you mean by almost? He angled a little more to the left or right? -2 'Liste's teeth struck him above and to the left of her previous bite mark,' be a lot more specific, was it on his shoulder? top of neck etc. -2 'bite the back of her neck.# where abouts? 5 for powerplaying. -2 'the pup sprung forward,' he went forward for liste- you need an 'attempts to spring forward' -3 dont presume would could happen to your opponent, thats for them to decide. 2 for defenses. You cant just list them, you need to add them in your posts! 6 for attack. +3 for ram +3 for bite 7 for injuries. -3 to bite wound on left side on neck Round two Laufey Total: 21/50 Liste: 0 for clarity- -3 ' the demoness reacted the best way she could think to.' you dont actually specify. -3 'Her rump remained in the air as she flung herself forward and down,' this doesnt really make sense, -2 'His teeth would find purchase there' wheres there? -2 'bite quickly into the soft skin of his underbelly, ' where abouts on the underbelly? the centre? more to the left or right? 4 for powerplaying. -2 'the demoness reacted the best way she could think to.' this is also classed as powerplay, you didnt say the damage which was made. -2 'as she moved forward and he did the same' you cant assume she was successful with move forward. -2 ' but would release immediately in order to attempt her second strike.' by saying this you assume that the bite to the underbelly was successful. 10 for defenses. Notes 5 for attack. +2 for attempted bite, +3 for trying to knock him of balance 5 for injuries. -2 for bruising -3 for punctures to hip area Round two Liste Total: 24/50 Totals:
Laufey: 57/100 Liste: 53/100 And the winner is...
Laufey! Liste must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out. Damage:
Laufey- Bites will take 2 ooc weeks to heel Liste- Bruising will take a few ic days. Minor bites 2 ooc weeks to fully heal Notes:
Tips for both writing, and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here) Notes For Laufey_ Make sure to add in atleast 8 defences in each post, but apart from that you did well! Just keep practising For Liste Watch your powerplaying and clarity, make sure to read over your posts atleast twice in order to make sense, there was a few moments i had no clue on what was going on. - By [Luisiana]
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