don't punish the commoner, she'll bite back.
09-20-2014, 06:29 PM
SINISTER v CATALEYA for RANK ROUND ONE
SINISTER --- clarity -- 2 out of 10 ; ?...her right side went to slam into her left?? what portion of sin?s right side is intending to strike what portion of cataleya?s left side? similarly, since sin and cat are both female, referring to them as ?her? makes it difficult to distinguish who you are talking about (-5). at what angle does sin approach cataleya from? head on, perpendicular, etc? (-2) ?...in a brutal effort to clasp hold of cataleya?s right shoulder.? grab a hold of cat?s shoulder with what? although it?s easy to assume with her jaws, it still should be mentioned (-1). powerplay -- 3 out of 10 ; ?...her enormous bodice clashed with cataleya?s?? major powerplay here, you cannot assume sin was successful in her endeavor of impacting cat. it should be an intention of sin?s to collide with cataleya, because cat could easily evade the attack. give your opponent time to respond to an attack (-7). defenses -- 8 out of 10 ; shoulders rolled, nails gripping, teeth exposed, ears pinned, tail out, skull lowered, limbs spread evenly apart, weight equally distributed. attack -- 2 out of 10 ; slamming against cat to knock her off balance (+0, points subtracted for major powerplay and clarity issues), attempt to bite cat?s right shoulder (+2, point subtracted for clarity issue). injuries -- 10 out of 10 ; first round. round one sinister total --- 25 out of 50 CATALEYA --- clarity -- 3 out of 10 ; is cat approaching sin at an angle or head on? (-2) what are cataleya?s intentions on the attack with her right shoulder blade? does she just want to cause heavy bruising to her target, or does she intend to dislocate the shoulder? similarly, with cat?s bite to sin?s left-sided scruff, what does she intend to achieve with a hold there? (-3) also, with cat?s attempt to wrap her left forelimb around sin?s left forelimb, i pictured that to be quite awkward and improbable, as cat would have to reach across the entirety of her own body to reach sin?s left forelimb. it would make more sense if she attempted to wrap it around sin?s right forelimb, which is in reach and presumably right in front of her left forelimb (-2). powerplay -- 8 out of 10 ; ?no matter what, a heavy bruise would flare?? minor powerplay, essentially assuming that her shoulder will successfully impact sin (-2). defenses -- 10 out of 10 ; eyes narrowed, ears pinned, hackles raised, skull lowered, chin tucked, tail out, limbs spread evenly apart, limbs bent to lower center of gravity, weight equally distributed among grounded limbs, toes splayed, nails gripping, shoulders rolled, neck scrunched. attack -- 5 out of 10 ; attempt to lodge her right shoulder blade into the natural groove located between sin?s chest and left shoulder (+2, point subtracted for clarity issue). attempt to bite sin?s upper left-sided scruff area (+2, point subtracted for clarity issue). attempt to wrap her left forelimb around sin?s upper left forelimb in hopes of upsetting sin?s balance (+1, points subtracted for improbability). injuries -- 10 out of 10 ; first round, moderate wounds to right shoulder, pending damage from counter. round one cataleya total --- 36 out of 50 ROUND TWO
SINISTER --- clarity -- 1 out of 10 ; where upon sin?s scruff did cat grip and how much damage was done to sin because of it? (-4) ?...the whole of sinister?s left leg?? which left leg? there are two (-1). in what way does sin yank her left forelimb from cat?s grasp? (-2) what side of cat?s neck did sin aim to grip? and what did she hope to achieve with a bite to cat?s neck? just make her bleed, rip through muscle and tendons, etc? (-3) powerplay -- 2 out of 10 ; cataleya?s attempt to drive her right shoulder into the natural crease located between sin?s left shoulder and leftwards chest went entirely disregarded. you have to respond to every attack made against your character (-5). ?sinister released cat for a moment only to latch herself back down.? should have been made as an attempt. you cannot assume any of your attacks hit (-3). defenses -- 6 out of 10 ; limbs spread evenly apart, weight equally distributed, toes splayed, nails gripping, tail out, shoulders rolled. attack -- 1 out of 10 ; attempted bite to cat?s neck (+1, points subtracted for clarity and powerplay issues). injuries -- 5 out of 10 ; moderate puncture wounds to left-sided scruff (-2, judge?s deduction), heavy bruise to natural groove located between sin?s left shoulder and left-sided chest (-3, judge?s deduction). round two sinister total --- 15 out of 50 CATALEYA --- clarity -- 4 out of 10 ; what portion of cat is attempting to impact what portion of sin?s chest? (-4) what is the extent of the damage to cat?s right shoulder? you say it becomes more severe, yet how severe is it? (-2) powerplay -- 8 out of 10 ; even though sin did not acknowledge cat?s previous shoulder-attack, it is up to you to incorporate the attack into your post [and sin would be forced to take the full extent of the damage cat intended in any event since she ignored it]. however, since you also ignored it in this post, you essentially ignored the impact altogether -- including the damage cat would have received from her counter-attack (-2). defenses -- 10 out of 10 ; eyes narrowed, ears pinned, hackles raised, skull lowered, chin tucked, limbs spread evenly apart, limbs bent, toes splayed, nails gripping, tail out. attack -- 3 out of 10 ; thrusting weight against sin?s chest (+1, points subtracted for clarity issues), attempt to jerk her head leftwards to place sin?s neck at an awkward angle (+2). injuries -- 5 out of 10 ; moderate bruise to front of right shoulder (-2, judge?s deduction), inch-deep puncture wounds to right shoulder (-3, judge?s deduction). round two cataleya total --- 30 out of 50 TOTALS
sinister --- 40 out of 100 cataleya --- 66 out of 100 AND THE WINNER IS...
cataleya! sinister must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out. DAMAGE
sinister -- heavy bruising to crease in between left shoulder and leftwards chest, will complicate movement for three ooc days. moderate puncture wounds to left-sided upper scruff, will take three ooc days to heal. cataleya -- deep puncture wounds to right shoulder, will complicate movement for four ooc days. NOTES
Tips for both writing, and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here) there was an instance on both of your parts where i used a "judge's deduction" for injuries, which is essentially compensating for the injuries you did not specify/did not take. make sure to detail these injuries and respond to every attack made against your character, because that does some nasty damage to your powerplaying scores! judging by [ aly ]
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