Hell raiser

Because I loathe the long version of judging, I decided to do a hybrid version, a mix between the long and short. I hope this satisfies you both <3 Also.. sorry for the wait!

Quote:Notes ? Some of his attacks seemed a bit far-fetched, as well as his ease of movement and balance after suffering such an injury seemed a bit off.

Quote:Notes ? Grammar was the main problem you?re your clarity, but it wasn?t too bad.

Quote:Notes ? Only a few points lost here, overall you did alright in this category.

Quote:Notes ? Some of the attacks seemed anatomically difficult to accomplish, but overall they were unique and well thought out.

Quote:Notes ? Defenses weren?t handled as well as they could have been. Always pay attention to what your wolf?s paws, ears, head, tail, etc are doing.

Quote:Notes ? Awaken took quite an injury to his leg in this fight, as well as to a few other areas.

Quote:Notes -

Quote:Notes ? Round One

Picking up a rock and tossing it at her really isn?t something that is considered realistic. Though a wolf could do it, they probably wouldn?t. Also, you stated that he kept his head down while striking for the scruff of her neck, which also doesn?t make sense because he?d have to lift his head or keep it at a natural level to do such an attack. Always remember body positioning. Also, never ever use the word ?immoveable?, as any wolf can be knocked off balance if the other tries hard enough. Saying ?immoveable? is considered powerplaying.

Round Two -

You had a few run-ons and grammatical situations in this round, but overall it was decent.

Round Three -

Watch your grammar, tenses, and run-ons. You also didn?t mention her attack on his other leg which means it?s an automatic hit.

Round Four -

Nothing but a few grammatical things here. Good work.

Round Five -

Not too bad here.

Overall -

Good fight. I think that a bit of it was unrealistic due to the injuries he took, but overall it was well done. Watch your grammar and sentence structure, as it often made things difficult to read or understand the first time around.

Quote:Notes ? There weren?t many problems with realism here.

Quote:Notes ? Clarity was good, only a couple of minor issues.

Quote:Notes ? This one hit you harder than the others due to your wording.

Quote:Notes ? Attacks were limited in their scope, but extremely well executed.

Quote:Notes ? Defenses were well seen to except in a few places.

Quote:Notes ? Zara suffered some serious injuries as well in this fight.

Quote:Notes -

Quote:Notes ? Round One

?Before he could close his jaws properly? is powerplaying, because you?re saying that he can?t possibly counter your attack. Watch your wording very closely.

Round Two -

?the smaller male was unable to force down on her enough? again, I think I know what you were trying to say here, but your wording suggests powerplaying.

Round Three -

Well written, and there weren?t any powerplaying issues here.

Round Four -

?She didn?t allow him to plant that paw on the ground? watch your wording here.

Round Five -

Not too bad.

Overall -

Overall your writing was good. You really need to watch your word choice and phrasing. Sometimes I don?t think you meant it to be powerplaying, but it came off that way due to the order you stated things. Overall, very good fight.

Quote:Winner ? Zara

Awaken must either flee, pass out, or submit.