Give Me Love
05-14-2013, 12:10 PM
She would wait with patience and grace that she didn't rightly feel. Her action had been impulsive, a lingering doubt that she had allowed fester too long. Why hadn't she spoken with Demonio? She had not wished to worry him? She had not thought it important enough? Excuses. Nothing but excuses. She had no excuse for not confronting him, which was odd because he had been the motivation behind her actions, his life, their future family is why she had done what she did... and despite every plan, every notion, every idea she had for the mismatched pack, she felt foolish now. Because in accomplishing the peace she had wished to settle over her family, she had successfully wounded, possibly beyond repair the one she loved the most. Her heart cracked, bleeding where she stood and the behemoth female felt weak, small, insignificant. She had seen the devastation and the utter hurt upon his maw as he stood before her in the pack meeting, he had refused to even glance at her and only then did she realize the extent of the damage she had wrought upon him. She felt the insipid fool that she was, how heartless could she have been? Was she truly so cruel? She had spoken with those who wished to speak with her before coming here. She knew there were those that had inquiries, doubts, aggression, ideas... and they deserved her attention. She needed to be the fierce leader before them and she knew if she spoke with Demonio first that visage would crumble, and she would be left exposed and raw. She couldn't allow that first impression to linger, but she was nervous, afraid that he would hate her, afraid that he would never love her again, terrified that he would never trust her again and in all honesty, she deserved it. Her legs quivered beneath her, fear rooting in the depths of her heart... would he even come? When he even offer her the time of day? Or had he left, possibly forever? Her heart stuttered, slamming painfully against her ribs at such a notion. Was her ivory knight, her twin, the other piece of her soul? ... Was he gone? Had he left her? A thousand scenarios ran through her brain, each worse than the last and the once blood hungry mongrel was brought to her knees. Conquered by the utter terror of knowing that her beloved, her soul mate, her heart hated her. She would swallow hard, anxiety coiling in her belly hard enough to make her want to vomit, but then a brief flash a white a leap of power and strength and he stood before her. One crimson orb, one sky blue, locking upon her. He spoke not a word, nor did he close this distance between them, but he was here, he had given her a chance and ridiculous hope flooded her body. She forced her heavy legs to move, lead weighed them down, words had never been her strong point, not when it came to a thing like this and she needed them now. Dipping into the cool waters of the river, she would trudge through the rocks, the stream until she reached a more respectable distance, a few feet away from him, enough that his scent enveloped her and despite the potential hurricane waiting to destroy her, it calmed her. Her tail dipped low, curling between her legs in submission, her head aligned with her shoulders. Guilt so fierce and intense stole her breath and she bit back the urge to whimper. "There is no excuse I can give you for what I have done Demonio. I should have spoken with you, I should have told you. With the rising tension between Valhalla and Tortuga, with Luce bringing in the pup, Neo, with the betrayal of the assassin Cyanide... we were lingering on the brink of war. Neither Kaien nor Morphine had done anything to quell such a notion. My challenge to Kaien was an impulsive decision. I couldn't let the disinterest, the dismissal of Valhalla lead to war. I don't want this power, I don't want this position, I only want to grow old with you at my side and as many pups as you would like dancing around us, but that couldn't happen if Tortuga fell to war." She would attempt to explain her reasoning, first to explain why she had done what she did. Her eyes drifted shut and she looked down and away, attempting to gather her thoughts. " I asked Nnoitra to rule beside me because the wolves of Tortuga admire and respect him. He has a vast store of knowledge of Amenti and his intelligence is admirable. All I want is peace." Her voice was soft. She would step towards him, as if to touch him, but instead her forelimb slid forward, the other bending as her front half lowered in a bow. Tears falling gently from her two toned eyes as she bowed to her lover, to her best friend, to her world. "I was blinded by my determination to see peace, insipid, foolish, I never thought to speak with you and I'm sorry Demonio, so very sorry that I have wounded you. You are everything to me. My earth, my stars, my moon, my sun. You are the missing half to my soul, the very heart that drives me forward, the strength that gives me power and the peace that settles my soul. I don't deserve your forgiveness, I don't deserve your kindness, and if you leave, know that I will love you, I will pine for you until my dying day. There has never been anyone else for me, nor will there ever be and should you ever find it in your heart to forgive me, there would be nothing on this earth I would not give up for you. I love you Demonio, and I'm so sorry for the wrong I have done." Her voice was strained, painful, guilt and fear still wracked her frame and chased the path of her tears. She would stay in the elegant bow until her lover commanded her otherwise, she was powerless to him. This power, this position was nothing if he wasn't here. Speech, |