Though it felt like a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders, the burden of having to carry this secret with her no longer quite as heavy, she now had new worries. She'd never really heard of love happening between two women, but she'd also never heard anything saying it wasn't a thing that could happen. Though Novel had been surprised, it'd be a subdued sort of thing, nothing that made Ara feel as though what she admitted was wrong or somehow invalid. Although she knew nature's course was to bring men and women together, to allow for reproduction and continued bloodlines, she'd never had much interest in men, even though she'd had her first heat already -- in fact, she'd never been interested in anyone but Novel, and it had taken her awhile to realize it. It seemed impossible that loving Novel could to wrong, for it felt so right, but it didn't stop her from worrying about what others might think or say.
She would watch with careful interest as Novel processed her questions. Ara knew she, too, had only recently proclaimed her love for another, though they had been together long enough now to give birth to a litter of children as well as start a pack of their own. Perhaps she had been through something similar? Her sapphire gaze was hopefully as she stared, unblinkingly waiting for her answer. 'Honestly Ara, I don't know,' she would reply, and she felt her heart sink slightly in her chest. Why were affairs of the heart so complicated? She knew that love was not an easy thing. Even her parents' relationship had not been flawless. They'd told her that even they had been separated numerous times, and she knew that her mother had even had children with other men. And yet their love was undeniable, and strong enough to move mountains, despite everything they had been through.
A gentle sigh would leave her lips as she would shift her paws, wondering if they ought to move further away from Novel. Still she slept soundly nearby, peaceful and content for the moment. "Honestly, just telling someone helps," she admitted. Perhaps not as much as she would've hoped, but it was better than nothing. Feelings were difficult to deal with for her, and to even verbalize them made them feel infinitely more real -- as though just by telling someone she thought she might be in love with Novel, suddenly it felt even more tangible to her.
'I imagine it'll hurt and things will be hard. If she does feel the same way though, words can't explain how wonderful it is.' Though she knew some would be worried about if the feelings were reciprocated in the same way or not, her real worries were over how Novel might react, about ruining what they shared and no longer being a caretaker for her future children and for Novel herself. Her ears flattened briefly on her skull before she relaxed. "I think I will tell her eventually," she would inform Novella warily. "I'm still scared though." And why wouldn't she be? She felt vulnerable and exposed, even telling this to Novella. She was a wolf unused to showing weakness to others and admitting she was afraid and insecure was something new for her. The feelings weren't, but sharing them with others certainly was new. "But thank you for listening. I appreciate it."
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