For the First Time

The tension could have been cut with a knife it hung so thickly in the air, Skah felt awkward and out of place. He felt unwanted and discarded in a world where he really felt like Shai was all he had left. Well he had his job too, he felt like he had been married to his job for far too long. Especially one he had never really intended to get. Shai had been the one to train for it, had been the one who was the most likely to get the job and yet? Here they were. He felt awkward, he felt awful, felt guilty and most of all he felt lost. He had lost everything all at once, he had gained a new job, lost his brother then shortly after he had lost his mother. But Shai had lost the same things? He had also lost his dream because of Skah... Really how could Skah blame him? But then wounds would slip from Shai's lips that Skah had never expected to hear. Eyes would snap wide and ears would fold to his skull. It wasn't his fault? He was sorry? Tension fled his shoulders all of a sudden and they sagged heavily as if they no longer had to support some great weight.

He would sigh now, this time a much less weighed down sound as he looked to the ground. This time his gaze was thoughtful, not simply moving away to avoid his brother's gaze. They had never had to talk like this before? "It's just as much my fault? i should have been there more for you. After? Her..." His voice got progressively softer before it faded away completely and his eyes closed. He hadn't talked about her really since her death. Every once and a while the oracle would mention her, pray for her but really. He had not taken any time for himself to think about it. "I hope you know? If you ever need anything I will be here for you." His eyes would open again and he would force a weak smile. He remembered when he used to smile a lot, when they used to smile a lot. Back when they used to adventure and frolic. Funny how people changed.

"Speaking"