The Past Tastes Bittersweet

He stood like the soldier that he had been trained to be since he could properly walk; unmovable and unfeeling. He had to push down all the feelings that were threatening to strangle him, to drown him. If not for the sake of his own sanity, then simply for the sake of not breaking down in front of Maija. He had done enough with reappearing in her life. He had no right to feel sorry for himself, especially not in front of her. She already thought so low of him now; to show weakness would be to further taint his already blackened image. But in all honesty, what did it really matter anymore? Maija was going to resent him probably for the rest of his life, so why not just make it easier on her? Why not really just give her a reason to hate him so that she could push him out of her life for good and save herself all the pain that she was harboring now. And yet, despite all that he'd done, he would never be able to bring himself to make her hate him. That just wasn't the type of man that he was, if he was even still a man at all.


The scent of tears was strong, teasing the cobalt's nostrils as he stood before Maija, his unseeing milky eyes staring into the darkness where he assume her figure to be. Silence descended upon the two, weighing heavily on both, yet Taurig did nothing to break it. He had said all that he could say; there were no words left. I wish...that things were different.
Me too. He echoed in his mind, the words unable to find their way past his thoughts. What use was it to wish that things were different? It was an inescapable fact that was probably never going to change. Things would never be the same for them from this point on. He could sit and mope about it all he wanted, but it wasn't going to change what he did. There was nothing more that he could do except accept it and move on, as much as it hurt to think that nothing was it once was.


Her voice had become soft, loosing the ferocity and anger it had held before. The storm had taken its course and now they were only left with choppy waters. I wish...that you had never left. That our family could be whole...that I wasn't...I met someone...And...I had another child... Part of him, a part that he had refused to acknowledge, had known that expecting Maija to wait around for him was a foolish thing. That part of him had taken into consideration that the lack of support would drive the golden beauty to seek it elsewhere...He just never thought he would be hearing it straight from her. The glass case that had begun to form around his heart shattered into a million pieces, each little shard embedding itself inside his chest cavity. The organ in his chest stuttered and the titan fought to regain his breath. His chest seized, tightening painfully. She...had another child...Taurig's legs buckled, threatening to give way beneath him but he held strong, keeping his statue like stance while he crumbled on the inside. The way she said it, it was as if she hadn't wanted to tell him. Would she have kept this a secret from him? She very well could've. She was under no obligation to tell him...and he desperately wished that she hadn't...


I waited...for so long, Taurig...I held on for so long...I still love you... His milky eyes disappeared from view as ebony lids fell over them, tattered ears falling flat against his skull. She had found another to share her den, carried his child and yet she still loved him....His first instinct was rage. He wanted nothing more than to find this other man and rip his trachea from his throat for having taken his treasure from him. But...he couldn't. By leaving Maija alone, he had basically offered her up to whomever happened to pass by. His short-lived rage gave way to pain...unadulterated, soul wrenching, heart shattering pain. How could she still love him after all of this? Why had she even bothered telling him this now? She had found someone else, had another family. She didn't need him anymore...she didn't...


I need you...I need you...I need you! Maija seemed to think otherwise. Her wails tore at the behemoth, clawing at his control. He found himself involuntarily taking a step towards her, his body knowing what his heart and mind wanted to ignore; he needed her to. No matter where he went, he would always need her. He would always want her. He would always love her. But what did that matter now? No...you don't need me...Not anymore...I bring nothing now but pain and you don't need anymore of that in your life... He took a shuddering breath, his voice a low murmur as he struggled to keep a tight rein on the emotions that raged within him. You've done so well without me...I know...I know you can keep doing it.... He was letting her go, giving her the chance to be happy, to be free of all the pain that he brought her...even if it killed him to do so...


"Burn Baby Burn"