Saying Goodbye

N/A · 10-26-2014, 08:25 PM

The first to arrive would be the new alphess of the lands. Though he knew her not the young woman seemed to know him. Of course she would... through Quelt. Through Hajime. The calico male would wince slightly at her words. Though they had been said kindly, it deepened his regret of what he was to do. He was not one to shamefully walk away with no words of goodbye, yet... saying goodbye was a painful thing. But Allen had learned, through his life, that sometimes you had to do rather painful things, even if you you might regret it later. He just prayed his judgement was right, and that this was what was best for him in the long run.

"Yes... I could not simply disappear without at least explaining why." His words were heavy, and heavier would his heart feel when Quelt came. The hurt on Quelt's face... he understood the man felt betrayed. Allen could not blame him. But... he would not change his mind on this matter. Sad, dark green eyes would fall on the larger man, searching for the right words, if there were any, for this moment, but all he found was silence long enough for a third wolf to arrive.

Ixxion. His words dripped with venom, with accusation. Allen would flick his ears back, and unusual for the calm man he would growl deep in his chest, narrowing his eyes. "Watch your tone, pup. Do you honestly believe that I would disappear without cause? That I would choose to leave, without good reason?" His words were full of calm anger. Allen was in no mood to make this any worse than it was, but he would defend to his right to a life.

"Let me begin by telling you all some things perhaps you may or mat not have known. To begin starts it all. Hajime was a pup, and I was the one who took him away from his homeland. I saw him to be a king... I saw him as nothing else. I loved my nephew with all of my heart. My loyalty was to him alone. I was certain he was going to carve a kingdom for our family... a new kingdom." Allen would close his eyes, digging into his memories.

"We traveled much back then. I can not say all of my choices were right. I knew they weren't. I know now they aren't. Not every choice is going to be made correctly. A mistake such as that was made one night, meeting a young woman..." Allen opened his eyes again. "Neither of us suspected anything would come of our night alone together. She was not in heat, and both of us were young and foolish. When morning came I left her, thinking of it no more.

I traveled with Hajime here. The two of us found out his mother was here as well... however she was murdered by a Glaciem wolf. We were together for a time, but then, due to an accident, we would up separated. I searched for him. I was lost... depressed. I had built my life around seeing him rise into a king." Allen's words remained level.

"After a time I left Alacritia... and I met two of my children. Children who I thought weren't going to exist, yet there they were. The guilt I felt was nothing like I had ever experienced. My son and daughter, already adults themselves, and I hadn't been in one minute of their life prior." Allen would pause, taking a breath, trying to keep his emotions steady.

"We started back to Alacritia. We... were getting close when I noticed Hajime's scent. I was determined to reunite with him... but then the storm hit." Allen closed his eyes once more, brow furrowing.

"Gavroche was separated from Amber and I. She promised they would catch up to me, urging me on. I agreed, and went on ahead. That was yet another big mistake in my life." Allen would let out a sigh.

"When I found Hajime... the first thing I found out was he had become a father, and his mate was dead, leaving behind five children. Guilt once more tore at me, for not being there for him... for being unable to aid him. We went to Abaven of course... and Hajime died. I mourned his death. I hurt, thinking that I was nothing but a failure to him. I couldn't help but ask myself time and time again; Would his life had been better had I not interfered? Would he not have been happier if I had not been around? Hadn't taken him away?" Allen's voice was strained with emotion now.

"I tried my best to hold it together. To stick with the broken family we had become. For you, Quelt, for you, Ixionn, and for your brothers and sisters. I had messed up so badly with my own family... I didn't want to continue seeing this one break apart. During that time of grief I met someone, someone I hold very dear to my heart. A fae who has been able to rekindle my hope even when it has become but the tiniest spark; Nona."

The calico man would swallow and then continue. "We moved to Isokan, and I felt relief... relief that my nephews children were safe. Relief that they were growing strong. I was not entirely content, but I figured as long as I could visit Nona it was fine. I wanted so badly to be here..." Allen gave a small shudder as the next memory came to mind.

"Leading up to my disappearance..." Allen's dark forest gaze, lids partially opened, were focused upon the ground. "What is a man to do when he sees one he loves lying dead upon the ground?" The question was asked softly, full of pain. "I found Gavroche again... but he was dead.. slain by his own brother... a male who denounced his ties to me. I understood his anger at me... but... to slay your own flesh and blood... it made me sick... and I hurt... and... in my weakness... I could not raise a paw to him. He was my child, whether I had known him or not. He was my child and I couldn't bring myself to attack him."

"If I had known the fae was going to bear them I would have figured out some way to have stayed... I would have taken on the responsibility... but now... I have one child surely dead and another who seems to have a hatred for all that I love... a threat to kill others did not join in his insanity. So yes... I fell away from the pack. Nona found me, giving me comfort after I buried my child. I don't expect you to understand why one my choose one they have a deep connection with over their family... but that is not the issue here."

Allen lifted his gaze, looking at them all. "Trying to live my life for the sake of a single goal... is not what I'm meant to do. I wanted to support Quelt as a king, but even you have stepped away from the throne. I am not getting any younger. When spring comes I'll alright be six years old, two years shy of being considered an elder. I want to use what is left of my life for love... to try and have a family the right way... and as sorry as I am... I don't feel that this family is meant to be in Isokan."

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