Baby Steps and Morning Breath

She keeps to herself often, reminding herself of things she doesn?t need. She doesn?t need fame or glory, doesn?t need waves of adoring followers, doesn?t need a lover by her side. All she needs are her children, her family, and she will be okay. It?s a thought process she?s had to adopt to survive. The world has had to harden her heart, and Virgil Olympus has complied. After so much heartache, she?d been forced to evolve and grow, and now she is truly chilled. She thinks she makes progress, that each day she grows firmer, that she moves beyond the ache of her heart.

Until her eyes fall once more upon Raisa Xanilov.
A twig cracks beneath her paws, ruining the possibility of running off without being noticed. She freezes, shaking not from cold or chills, but from anger and hurt and everything she?d locked away in the darkest corner of herself. She doesn?t want to walk away right now, knowing her legs will tremble. Raisa doesn?t get to see her shake, doesn?t get to see all the holes she?d poked into Virgil?s chest. ?Leave,? she says. And her voice, perhaps, is more broken sounding than her walk away would have been. It includes bubbling upset, shaking limbs, and the pain of a heart crushed too many times.
Everyone would always leave her. And when they came back, everything would be alright for them. And yet, when she did the leaving, and when it was far from her own choice, she was the enemy. She wants to rip into Raisa, wants her to feel all the agonizing pain that the woman has inflicted upon her, wants to rip her to as many pieces as she?d ripped Virgil into. And yet, even still there is the part of her that croons, the part that wants to run forwards and embrace her love because her appearance here means she is alive.