I Just Killed My Boyfriend
11-08-2014, 07:50 PM
Syrinx v Isardis for Death Round 1
Syrinx: 6 for clarity- -2 what part of the right limb his he trying to wrap around Isardis' ankle? His own ankle? Just the paw? the whole forelimb in a sweeping motion? -1 which right limb is he moving? -1 which left limb is Syr trying to snag [again I can probably assume but it's never specifically said] 8 for powerplaying. -2 you need to attempt to approach Isardis head on, he could shift and move the angle 10 for defenses. +1 for each seen 8 for attack. +3 for bite +1 for maim attempt to eye +3 shoulder slam +1 leg wrap [-2 for clarity issues] 10 for injuries. first round Round one Total: 42/50 Isardis: 7 for clarity--2 "will attempt to meet his opposition mid-stride, striving to push forwards into the potential clash of his oncoming enemy" what part of his body is he hoping to push into Syr? Where on Syr is he trying to hit? This part was rather confusing as the following attacks seem to involve more getting out of the way[i.e the sidestep, angle shift] than pushing forward. Wasn't sure if the push was meant to connect as an attack or was just a metaphorical statement. Sorry, I got terribly lost xD -1 how did Isardis move in his attack on Syr's neck, I feel this is important as he's positioned more Syr's right but making a move for the left bit of neck -1 what direction is Isardis tilting when Syr pulls at his paw? 5 for powerplaying.-1 "when the man is less than a meter" you're not really supposed to assume distance. -4 a lot of movement in your posts, you need to give your opponent time to respond before making another attack. I find it unlikely that Isardis was able to maneuver away from Syr's bite, launch a bite of his own, pull back and launch a shoulder attack in the time it would take for Syr to launch a bite and a shoulder. This repeated session of attacks is also difficult to follow, particularly in the paw maneuvers. Syr could step back and remove that paw out of play. or throw in another attack by the time Isardis regrounds himself or that might even prevent Isardis from grounding himself. These amount to minor conditionals as they partially assume that his attack succeded. Give the fight some room to breathe. <3 10 for defenses.+1 for each seen 9 for attack.+3 bite +1 for maim +2 shoulder throw (-1 pp issue, I don't see how the movement could cause dislocation though I may be visualizing the angle incorrectly ) +3 paw attack (+1 maim attempt -1 pp issues) 10 for injuries.first round Round one Total: 41/50 Round 2
Syrinx: 3 for clarity--2 Where exactly is he trying to place the limb on Isar's neck? in the middle? near the base? -1 attempting to wrap his right limb aroun Which right limb? again you have to say no matter how obvious it might be. -2 where on Isardis left neck is he trying to wrap the limb? middle? base? it can all affect the leverage he has on Isar. -2 where on his neck did Isar's attack land? I'm guessing by jugular that it landed as it was meant to and his upwards motion prevented it from being fatal but you must address specifics -2 how are Syr's jaws angled as he attempts to bite Isar? is he aiming straight down or sort of from the front? at a 45 degree angle maybe? 7 for powerplaying. -2 you need to attempt to get them in a head-on position. Thus far in my interpretation it seemed they were at an angle to one another. -1 minor conditional, Syr torqueing his body kind of assumes that the attack landed otherwise it doesn't make a lot of sense for him to do in the midst of attacking 10 for defenses.+1for each seen 4 for attack.+3 for bite (+2 maim attempt on each ear -1 for clarity) +1 attempt to throw off balance (-1 pp) 5 for injuries.-3 dislocated left forelimb -2 moderate bite to neck Round two Total: 29/50 Isardis: 8 for clarity- -2 how is Isar's head angled in his bite attempt? I'm pretty lost at the positioning, where are his upper and lower jaw attempting to land. 7 for powerplaying.-3 again watch yourself when compounding movements, Isar shuffles back then shuffles forward and Syr's position could be completely different in this time span especially as he's attempting to throw Syr off balance by shuffling back int he first place. There's also minor conditionals in your attacks as they assume that Syrinx is still above him. 10 for defenses.+1 each seen 6 for attack.+1 shuffle back to throw off balance (-1 pp issue) +3 shoulder throw (+1 maim attempt -1 pp) +2 bite (-1 clarity) 6 for injuries.-1 minor bruising -3 bite/maim to left ear Round two Total: 37/50 Round 3
Syrinx: 1 for clarity--3 what part of Isardis does he feel pressing into him and where? I don't recall Isardis pushing into him? -2 how is he readjusting his balance? is it just trying to hold Isar closer? this is particularly important as he only has one good limb wrapped around Isar's neck and it's very plausible for him to lose his grip -2 where on Isardis face is he trying to hit? -2 where on Isardis neck is he trying to bite? 5 for powerplaying.-2 you didn't address Isar shuffling backwards. -3 Isar's shoulder thrust was not addressed 10 for defenses.+1 each seen 3 for attack.+2 bite (-1 clarity) +1 shoulder throw (-1 for clarity) 3 for injuries. -3 bite to elbow -2 hitting dirt, while not really an injury it's dangerous to lose your footing in a fight and be flat on your back with your belly exposed, not a position you want to fall in -2 bruising to armpit [added in since the attack was not addressed] Round Three Total: 22/50 Isardis: 0 for clarity--2 how did Isardis move that Syrinx shoulder is now aimed at his chest rather than face? -2 where in relation to Syrinx does he hope to fall perpendicular too? -2 how does Isar specifically adjust to stay on his feet? Syr is a good deal heavier and is in free fall -2 how much damage is done by Syr's attack? it seems unlikely that all the attack did was disturb some hair -1 how far below the sternum are you aiming to bite? I'm assuming by "ribcage joint" you mean sternum since there are no true joints on the ribcage -1 don't say anywhere be specific to help us visualize the positioning, in particular what angle are Isar's jaws are at "ambitious to plant his lower canines anywhere on the left side (under top jaw)" 8 for powerplaying. -1 minor pp "Should such an angle be maintained, Syrinx would have no right forearm-clutch leverage on the left side of Isardis? neck following suit to his shift." that is for Syrinx to decide -1 need to attempt to wrench his neck from Syr's jaws 10 for defenses.+1 each seen 8 for attack.+2 elbow throw +1 maim attempt +2 paw slam +3 jaw attack + 1 maim -1 clarity 6 for injuries.-1 minor bruising to neck -3 bite Round Three Total: 32/50 Totals:
Syrinx: 93/150 Isardis: 110/150 And the winner is...
Isardis! As both judges agree on the outcome Syrinx has fallen in battle. Damage:
Started to right this out then realized it won't really matter as the fight is so long over due. Notes:
For Syrinx You're writing in general was very clear and easy to read just work a bit more on specifics when it comes to your attacks and directions. For Yumpy Really watch throwing in too many attacks in succession. It gets confusing to follow and also ends up peppering your fight post with a bunch of minor conditionals. These can add up and cause problems for you in close fights. Thanks for your patience guys! - By [lunarcat7]
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