My my, how things CHANGE

Winter. Her babies were a year old today. That was the single most saddening thought that she had heard all day, which made her paws heavy and her soul even heavier. Without realizing it she found herself wandering back to the place where she found comfort -- Crucifix. It had been a long time since her mind had whispered his name, since her toes tingled at the thought of him. Thoughts of love and lust were long lost on her, but the feeling of safety still remained. She longed to see the silver brute once more, to share her woes with someone. Last she heard Cru had a wife and children of his own, which brought a ghost of a smile to Othello's lips. It had been awhile since that kind of emotion crossed over her face, for a long time she had been devoid of almost all emotions -- empty. She lost the one thing that had made her world feel complete, the very thing that held her in check. And now that Revenge and Mercy were gone, she felt as if nothing mattered. But the one she sought had a way of changing things, of making them flip upside down. Perspective, that is what she needed.

She was following her heart more than her mind, lingering deep inside her was still a connection with him. Crucifix had once been what her world revolved around, and now that everything else was slipping from her grasp she craved to be near him once more. She had no intentions of forcing herself back into his life, she understood that he had moved on. She had as well, although there was a pang of jealously in her heart. He had what she always wanted, a relationship that just involved two. She didn't have the luxury with Scorpion, and when he came home smelling like other woman it made her want to wretch. It made her sick, thinking of him laying with another. She had devoted everything to him. She knew that he was giving her all that she could, and she would be selfish to ask for more -- but there was a part of her that just wanted a normal relationship. Something was was just plain Jane would be perfect, but instead she got stuck with the most complex... well everything. At least that is how she felt. A heavy sigh left her chest, her paws feeling more that numb as she padded through the snow. It was still a thin layer, her dragging paws leaving small trails in the fluffy down.

Elongated tail drooped on the earth, erasing the paw steps that she had left behind. It looked like someone had dragged a body through the snow -- her winter coat had made her prized possession even more thick and full. But the snow didn't excite her like it usually did. She should be celebrating her children's first year, but alas they too had left her. This did not help with the woman's depression, and she would be lying if she didn't admit to thoughts of ending it all. But perhaps a conversation with the crossed marked alpha would change her mind, would bring a new light to this whole mess. So at last she reached his borders, but no call rang out. Othello just sat upon the earth, long tail covering her snow-caked paws. Purple eyes were dull as they gazed across the woods, little white flakes coating everything in a white blanket. Even she in the state that she was in had to admit the beauty of winter, the look of perfection that it gave the world. But how ironic was it -- a pretty season that brought nothing but death and decay. Trees and plants lost their life, laying dormant and in wait for a less harsh season. Othello felt as if her life perfectly reflected that, it was just a waiting game to see if spring ever came to melt her frozen heart.

Othello had been seated long enough for a thin layer of the falling snow to coat her white pelt, giving her an even frostier look. Apparently the weather thought it would be funny to make her look like a part of the landscape. That was all she was, was it not? Just another piece to a never ending puzzle, one who's pieces always went missing. Found one? Too late -- another four were lost. A sigh passed through her inky lips, breath fogging before her as it danced among the white flakes. At last her purple eyes closed, a howl ringing out for Crucifix. His name was strong upon her song, clear as crystal as she called out for her old friend. As her howl came to an end, her eyes did not open. As snow coated her face and bodice further, she really did start to look like a pile of snow. She didn't even feel the cold as it bit into her pelt, eyes staying shut as she sat in deafening silence.