It was obvious that things where spiralling unbearably out of control. Every fibre of his being cried out that he wanted and needed this, with only one small voice in his head whispering Sibelle's name, telling him that this was not right – not that being with Othello was wrong, because good, it felt so right but that this was not the way to go about it. He couldn't do this to his pack and family, he shuddered, a motion of warning and need, or worry and lust as he scented her all about him. She had pulled back an inch and her nose resting on his. His flanks heaved with breath, finally feeling the air they pulled into his lungs was quenching his need for air. He gasped in the respite and fought to clear the fog of desire from his mind.
The respite was short lived before they where pushing themselves together again, as through trying defy the laws of physics and merge themselves into one with the heat of their emotions and desires, turning two beings simply into one astonishing creation. When his voice cried out between them she would listen, the white, unearthly beauty before him would back quickly from him like he had horrified or startled her. He panted again, lungs burning for air as he watched her. His words had broken the spell and he cringed as he looked at her now, as through feeling and knowing that he had done wrong. His body had answered her even as his mind cried out, it had been wrong of him, as through leading her on when he wasn't fully decided.. not fully decided? He needed her, oh, god, the thought of them getting that chance to spend a life time together touched his heart so completely he thought it might stop from the ache and pain of desire for this image.
She would speak then, at last, he would taste something of what went on in her head. Ohh... his heart whispered, as he understood her changes. She had been abandoned by the very family she had created, abandoned by the boy she had chosen over him. His heart ached for her in a whole different way and his thoughts where lost as she spoke again. He refocused his eyes, startled, with the next words she spoke. He thought perhaps he could understand them – he knew Scorpion had not been faithful, but he knew also... that this had caused Othello some heart ache. She stepped closer to him again and he moved his nose to gently touch her, where he could look directly into her eyes. “I think.. I think I want you forever Othello, and I still think that what Scorpion did was wrong, I can not and will not ever do that to Sibelle” he closed his eyes and tried to imagine what this would do to his world, beyond the elation fo running off with Othello at his side, but to Sibelle and Solstice and the children he loved. His heart ached with indecision and pain, he knew Othello was right for him, he knew it in his heart of hearts that she was the woman he had born to live and die with – but they had gone wrong somewhere, their paths had gotten twisted and confused, was there anything they could do to change that? And even if he chose not to, even if he did not chose Othello over all he knew, he knew he could not keep this from Sibelle. He winced at the thought, of telling her of this reunion with an old flame and admitting he still had feelings for her – even having not slept with her, she would not forgive him, or perhaps, being in love with another was an even worse sin then just sleeping with them. He closed his eyes and let out his breath in a soft sound of pain, he had to tell Sibelle, and he would, but he would not sleep with Othello without taking her as a mate for life, that side of him had been lost the moment he took the road of having a mate.
"Speech"
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