In My Head {Bass}
It was worry that ate at him. Allen thought of the meeting... and the thought of his children. His wound was healing, tended to by his own beloved, but the man was far from fine. A troubled mind churned his thoughts like butter, his dark gaze looking out over the rapids. A misty breath was expelled from his mouth every few moments, ears flicked back. The wind was chilled, snow upon the earth and flurrying in small flakes from the sky. The man felt, in that moment, so much older than he truly was. He would curl his tail around his toes, gazing at the water.
Life. Choice. Consequence. Death.
Those four words rolled with his thoughts and the man felt his heart aching. So afraid to make the wrong choice. So afraid to lead another path astray. The calico gentleman was afraid of hurting the woman he loved, of condemning her with his own actions. If Nona had gotten pregnant, despite it not being her season... how would Bass react? The man knew he had to tell his leader to be on the safe side of things, whether a false alarm or not.
There was also the matter of the children he already had. Gavroche was dead, slain by his own brother. Kau had made it clear he would lurk in Alacritia and that he would make his father's life miserable in little ways. His shoulder would give a throb, as if a silent reminder of this. Another sigh passed Allen's lips, closing his eyes. Why was it his son was so full of hate? What really was it that tore his heart up so? Was... was there no hope left for him?
...and Amber...
Did his little girl still live? Was she somewhere wandering the lands alone? If he did have children with Nona... would they be safe? Would Kau possibly target them? Target Abaven...? Would any wolf follow a madman? Allen opened his eyes, shuffling in the snow. It was freezing... but... it was the recognition of feeling that kept him sane right now. He didn't want to trouble Nona further with his worries. She was already busy as it was making sure he was recovering fine and that she could collect what herbs she could.
"By the gods... when did life become so complicated? Things seemed so much easier when I was in a younger man's body." Allen would say aloud to himself. How times changed, challenging and testing you. All you could do was fight on. |
| Table by:: Tealah |