Louder Than Thunder

Destruction felt like breathing itself was a chore. The snow falling around them in a blanket, coating their fur, would make the woman shiver. How she wanted to let every emotion out, spill out every feeling and lay her heart in the snow before her for Deviant to see. So much hurt... so much guilt plagued the poor woman's mind. She didn't know what she was going to do with herself. When was it she last felt so lost, so broken? The woman thought she was past this and yet... here she was again. Life was something never easy, taking some and tossing them about as if they were a rag doll in the wind. She would swallow hard, clinging to Deviant's presence. Something real... someone to keep her sane.

His paw was placed over her own, a sign of comfort. They both knew loss. They understood the pain it brought and how broken it could make you feel. The inevitable question came. Destruction expelled a heavy breath. How did one begin telling their tale of their burden? Of such pain? The dark woman would let out a heavy sigh, letting her single orb meet his golden gaze. Oh gods what would he think of her? Was she trying to make herself out to be a monster when she was not? Or was there truly just something horrible within? Where did this guilt truly lurk, where was it's heart?

"I believe I told you in one of our earlier meetings that I had a son, right?" Her eye shown with grief. "His... his father went to join him... I..." Destruction lowered her head, heaving a sigh. 

"I was the godmother of his children with his current mate. They... were my family. I just... when he died... I... I don't know. I felt guilty. As though I didn't belong there with them. Like... like I was a burden with my very presence..." The woman closed her eye.

"I don't know if I can stay here... I... I see my friend, his mate, dying with each passing day. She has no will to live... her children are trying so hard and... it tears my heart apart staying here. I... feel like my life is moving on without me and I'm not sure where it is... where I'm supposed to be." The woman opened her eye slightly. 

"I feel old... I... had this longing for love still in my heart... something faint... and... I'm worried I'll never truly experience it, experience the joys of being a true mother, before I'm dead and gone. I keep asking myself what my life has been for, Dev, but I don't know. I don't feel like there is anything at all..." Destruction let out a deep sigh. Even if she wanted to cry... she could find no more tears to do so. All that was left was to find answers.