Round 1
CAT:
8/10 for clarity: -2 with her left shoulder forward she would have to twist her neck quite far to reach his throat as it would be over her shoulder
10/10 for powerplaying:
10/10 for defenses: ten defenses found, no serious breach of defenses
6/10 for attack: +2 shoulder attack, +2 bite to neck (-1 for clarity), +2 stomp to paw
10/10 for injuries:First round
Round one CAT Total: 44/50
BASS:
6/10 for clarity: -2 where on his left shoulder is the bruising? -2 where on her leg is he aiming for his paw to land?
3/10 for powerplaying: -2 if/then (assuming a grip on her paw when he moves his head), -2 "if he still had her paw in his mouth, there was no doubt that she would fall" don't make assumptions, it's always up to your opponent, -2 how is he moving his head so much if she has a grip on his neck?, -1 minor conditional (trying to twist his grip on her ankle depends on having a grip and you have it written as two separate motions/two attacks)
8/10 for defenses: ears, tail flagged, weight balanced, toes spread, claws digging, legs bent, shoulders rolled, hackles raised
2/10 for attack: +2 bite to ankle/attempt to sprain (-1 for PP), +0 paw swipe (-1 for clarity)
10/10 for injuries: Severe laceration to right ribcage (decided by judge),
Round one BASS Total: 29/50
Round 2
CAT:
8/10 for clarity: -2 where on her left shoulder is the bruising?
9/10 for powerplaying: -1 minor conditional (pulling him down depends upon her ability to keep her hold in the first place)
7/10 for defenses: (you added enough defenses but then you state "All the while her defenses remained intact" and it would be impossible for a few of them to remain intact when she's falling and you make no mention of her adjusting them)
3/10 for attack: tightening grip +2, "death roll" +1 (it was clever but there were too many associated problems for it to be effective)
5/10 for injuries: moderately bruised left shoulder -1, moderate bite foreleg -2, strained ligaments/muscles in her left shoulder -2
Round two CAT Total: 32/50
BASS:
2/10 for clarity: -2 (how far did he pivot his body? what angle is he trying to be in relation to her?) -2 (over her body in what way? How is he trying to align himself with her?) -2 center of which side of her neck -2 (where on her belly is he trying to sit?)
6/10 for powerplaying: -2 (with all the movement it's unlikely that her teeth didn't puncture deeper than skin and fat) -2 (it is unrealistic that he was able to pivot in that manner while both bites maintained grip - there isn't THAT much extra skin around the throat area and legs don't bend that way so he would only be able to pivot so far)
10/10 for defenses: ten found
4/10 for attack: +1 attempting to hold grip on paw(PP issues), +2 bite (grip attempt, but clarity issues), +1.... sitting (clarity issues)
6/10 for injuries: -3 for severe lacerations to neck, -1 additional from judge for PP issue concerning injury
Round two BASS Total: 28/50
Totals:
CAT: 76/100
BASS: 57/100
And the winner is...
CAT! Bass must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out.
Damage:
CAT: All wounds would be healed by now
BASS: All wounds would be healed by now - the wound on the throat may scar
Notes:
Tips for both writing, and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here)
Notes
For Saff
Your second attack was refreshingly original, you just need to watch that you don't sacrifice your other scores in doing so
For Eve
You need to work on a couple things yet - the biggest is making sure that you are making your posts clearer. State your intentions exactly... remember that "he attempted to hook his paw around her leg at the ankle" is much clearer than "he attempted to hook his paw around her leg". Your second post was really hard to follow with the movements as they were not entirely clear and it was very difficult to picture. You also need to watch your realism as far as movements and taking damage.
- By [Tea]
