It Hurts So Much

He thought things had been getting better. He?d left the lands of their birth, left behind the hatred and malice that their hateful father had nearly suffocated Pontifex with. He had managed to find his siblings and to reunite with them. They had welcomed him back, not exactly with open arms, but with an open mind and a second chance at redemption. Though the bridge between him and his siblings had been a bit shaky, the knight had been more than willing to work through it and mend it as best he could. He wanted things to be the way they had been back when they were children and their father?s grasp hadn?t been so tight. But now?.It was too late. For god knows what reason, Octavian was gone. Pontifex wanted to scream to heavens at the injustice of it all. Octavian had a good future ahead of him, better than any Pontifex could ever have. But where was that future now? Buried alongside his brother?s body.

And then Loccian?s voice broke his thoughts, his golden eyes refocusing on her gray form, a tiny looking thing as she crumpled in on herself. It... It was because of me brother. If I was there for him, it would not have happened. Octavian would be alive... if I wasn't running around with some male. The organ inside his chest nearly collapsed on itself as he listened to his sister blame herself for their brother?s death. Of the two now, no fault lay with her. It was he that should take the blame. He was the worst of the trio, the one who had disconnected with them. Had Pontifex perhaps spent more time with Octavian since their reunion he could have discovered what troubled his brother and maybe helped him out, avoided this unnecessary and abrupt end.

Just as the words were beginning to form on his tongue, Loccian spoke up again, her voice raising several octaves as she barked at him, desperation gripping her words as she attempted to gain an answer from her only brother. Unshed tears choked the words from him larynx as he spoke. Loccian?.my sister, no fault lies with you. You were always there for Octavian. Were someone to take blame it should be. I hardly spoke to him since my arrival here and now look. He?s gone and I never got to say goodbye. I never took the time to reconnect with him. I am sure had I spent more time with him I could?ve lightened his load and helped with whatever ailed him but I didn?t and this is the price we must pay now. You don?t know how desperately I wish to provide you with the answer you need, but I can not. To my knowledge father is nowhere near this place, but if I catch even the slightest hint that he is, it will be the last thing he does Loccian, I swear it.His gaze remained steady on his sister, lyrics taking on a steely edge. Too long had he been under their father?s grip. No more. Pontifex was changed. He was no longer the bastard that had hurt his siblings as they?d grown up. He was now here to take care of Loccian, his sister, his last living family. And he would protect her with his life, even if it meant killing the man he?d come to know as his father.