SINDRI:
8 for clarity- -1: Starting distance between the two? -1: Some of your clarifications were a bit hard to understand (ironically enough) and required a bit of re-reading to get the proper feel of things.
8 for powerplaying. -2 “If successful, this move would...” is conditional. Your following attacks are based as if this would be successful.
10 for defenses. Ears flat, eyes narrowed, head lowered, spine aligned, stance set, toes splayed, knees bent, weight centered, tensed, chin tucked.
4 for attack. +1 Shoulder attack, +1 toe slam, +2 Elbow bite < br>
10 for injuries.First round
Round one SINDRI Total: 40/50
MAXIMOUS:
3 for clarity- -1: Positions of their bodies after her attack? -2: Sindri's attack was meant to bite and hold, no mention of this in your post, nor did he rip his shoulder away from clamped jaws. -1 Directional incongruity with bite attack. -1: Where on her neck is he aiming his bite attack? -2: Unclear statement “Should he land a good hold on her neck he would definitely try.” Is this a true attempt or simply his musing?
10 for powerplaying. None seen
3 for defenses. Wide stance, tail aligned, ears pinned.
3 for attack. +1 Toe slam, +2 Bite< br>
10 for injuries.First round
Round one MAXIMOUS Total: 29/50
Round 2
SINDRI:
8 for clarity- -2: How is she maintaining her grip on his shoulder while trying to ram her shoulder into his? That seems a bit extreme as far as flexibility goes. Is her positioning changing?
10 for powerplaying. None seen
9 for defenses. Tucked chin, shoulders rolled forwards, weight distribution, stance wide, knees bent, splayed toes, head low, tail aligned, eyes narrowed.
5 for attack. +1 Intensifying bite, +2 Shaking bite, +1 Toe slam, +1 Shoulder slam< br>
7 for injuries. -1 Minor bruising, -2 Moderate puncture wounds,
Round two SINDRI Total: 39/50
MAXIMOUS:
5 for clarity- -2 Pretty difficult to understand some of the sentences, mostly due to punctuation. A bit of re-reading was necessary to get the proper idea. -1 He's moving around a bit in this post, what is his new position? -1 Where on her throat is he aiming? Left-right span, up and down? -1 Where on her face is he aiming?
8 for powerplaying. -2: Attempting to attack her with an extremely injured shoulder with no mention of it's effect.
0 for defenses. None seen (avoiding an attack does not count as a defense, and unfortunately your pinned ears and tail alignment were not reset in this post)
2 for attack. +2 face bite < br>
6 for injuries. -1 Damaged toes, -1 bruised elbow, -3 Severe wounds from intense bite and lashing.
Round two MAXIMOUS Total: 21/50
Totals:
Sindri: 79/100
Maximous: 50/100
And the winner is...
Sindri! Maximous must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out.
Damage:
Sindri: Minor bruising and moderate puncture wounds, 1 OOC week to heal.
Maximous: Minor bruises will fade in 1 OOC week, Severe damage to left shoulder will take 3 OOC weeks to heal.
Notes:
Tips for both writing, and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here)
Notes
For Lazuli
Your posts are really good in the clarity aspect! Very easy to read, but in this fight I had some trouble understanding your clarifications, as they got a little wordy and tangled.
For Secret
Keep an eye on your clarity, make sure reading your post is smooth sailing or that score can tank pretty fast. Also, make sure you're piling on your defenses wherever you can, you lost a fair bit of points there as well.
- By [Fox]
