these wings are made to fly

She hadn't seen or heard from him in far too long. He was someone that she wanted to be a constant, but with news of her engagement she had put distance between them. So wrapped up in the fact that she wouldn't get to stand beside him anymore, she had grown so sad without him - but faced her responsibilities regardless. As much as she was sure that she loved him, she could not throw away what she owed to her family. Tossing them aside would be like tossing herself aside... but with that realization, she wondered whether despite her pining, whether she had tossed him aside. How could she make him change, and not fight for him the same way? She knew that it was different. She knew that by his standards he could have both she and his wife and it wouldn't matter, but she also knew that he was willing to try and felt as if she had betrayed that.

Honestly, she felt like she didn't deserve her romeo any longer. She had failed to stand up for their relationship, even if it was on unstable ground.

Yet here he was, waiting for her, and she faltered because even now, even with time separating them, even with her new status and nervousness and confidence and various responsibilities... he still took her breath away. "Gideon-James." She spoke to get his attention, her gaze meeting his own. Her look was surprisingly stern despite her glassy eyes. She was frowning, even though she was absolutely elated to see him in the flesh once more. Slowly she dared to flutter toward him, now fully grown and aware of her capabilities, she held a surprising amount of grace. Although she would never be dainty curves and fragile beauty, there was something almost admirable about how she had grown up. There were moments where she could almost feel it herself...

But this was not one of those moments. When she was nearly close enough to touch him, to reach out and kiss his cheek or caress his neck or drape herself beside him like she wanted - she stopped, looking down. "I am so sorry." Her voice was hushed, choked, she didn't trust herself to speak louder lest her shining eyes release their hard pressed tears. She had failed him, and she would not be surprised if he was no longer hers. It was incredible, how she realized how much she missed him when he was gone every time they met up. The female felt that she didn't have to voice her grievance, that he would know how she wanted to be near him whenever he was away. Couldn't he feel it too?