What is dead may never truly die
03-02-2015, 06:05 PM
Walk | Talk | Think
She half expected him to drop her, literally, to let her go and step away and be angry with her for not being stronger. She had always been strong in life. When he had been exiled from their pack when their first litter was still young, she had managed to get by and live away from him, to be strong for their children so that they could live within the safety and comfort of a pack even though the distance had never suited her. She had been strong even before Bane, when her first husband had passed, to the point she had been able to go on and remarry without any issue. But something about Bane had changed her, completed her, in such a way that to be without it had undone her, and there had been no recovery from that.
And still she expected him to be mad, braced herself for it, so that the tightening of his embrace around her, his soothing, soft tones, that did not sting or slander only caused her tears to flow more freely, in relief as much as sadness. She was gone from the world, unable to get back, but her husband did not hate her for it. No, he understood, he welcomed her at his side in this place that looked so strangely like their old home, and no matter that she hated herself for her shortcomings, he still loved her. He kissed her, showing as much passion for her as he ever had, and she felt wholly undeserving of it. She sobbed, pressing her face into his neck as she cried, unable even to stammer out the apology she felt he deserved.
There was no stopping the tears for a time, nor could she control her sobbing, but eventually they lessened and eased away, leaving the golden-eyed wolf feeling emotionally weak and exhausted. Her sobs had subsided into pitiful sniffles, and between them she whispered at last, "I’m sorry." Would he even understand why? She could not bring herself to explain, nor did she want to risk possibly sending herself into another sobbing spell by doing so. She closed her eyes shut tightly as she buried her face further into the dark fur of her husband’s neck. "I love you," she whispered, certain now that she could tell him again that she would never be able to say it enough times to satisfy her.
She half expected him to drop her, literally, to let her go and step away and be angry with her for not being stronger. She had always been strong in life. When he had been exiled from their pack when their first litter was still young, she had managed to get by and live away from him, to be strong for their children so that they could live within the safety and comfort of a pack even though the distance had never suited her. She had been strong even before Bane, when her first husband had passed, to the point she had been able to go on and remarry without any issue. But something about Bane had changed her, completed her, in such a way that to be without it had undone her, and there had been no recovery from that.
And still she expected him to be mad, braced herself for it, so that the tightening of his embrace around her, his soothing, soft tones, that did not sting or slander only caused her tears to flow more freely, in relief as much as sadness. She was gone from the world, unable to get back, but her husband did not hate her for it. No, he understood, he welcomed her at his side in this place that looked so strangely like their old home, and no matter that she hated herself for her shortcomings, he still loved her. He kissed her, showing as much passion for her as he ever had, and she felt wholly undeserving of it. She sobbed, pressing her face into his neck as she cried, unable even to stammer out the apology she felt he deserved.
There was no stopping the tears for a time, nor could she control her sobbing, but eventually they lessened and eased away, leaving the golden-eyed wolf feeling emotionally weak and exhausted. Her sobs had subsided into pitiful sniffles, and between them she whispered at last, "I’m sorry." Would he even understand why? She could not bring herself to explain, nor did she want to risk possibly sending herself into another sobbing spell by doing so. She closed her eyes shut tightly as she buried her face further into the dark fur of her husband’s neck. "I love you," she whispered, certain now that she could tell him again that she would never be able to say it enough times to satisfy her.