right in the eyeball

(02-08-2015, 12:49 PM)The Judge Wrote:

LAVENDEL vs CESAR for DOMINANCE Round 1 Lavendel: 3 - for clarity: -2 what angle is she trying to attack Cesar from? -2 which shoulder is she trying to bite -2 where on the shoulder is she trying to bite? -1 what does she hope to accomplish with the bite?  The deep bite makes me think a grip and not a glancing blow but you still need to specify to avoid confusion 10 for powerplaying.  none seen 4 for defenses. +1 for each seen 1 for attack. +1 bite (-2 for clarity deductions) 10 for injuries.First round Round one LAVENDEL Total: 28/50 CESAR: 10 for clarity: clear post 10 for powerplaying. none seen 8 for defenses. +1 for each seen 5 for attack. +3 bite +1 grip attempt +1 paw stamp 10 for injuries. First Round Round one CESAR Total: 43/50 Round 2 LAVENDEL: 0 for clarity:-2 where did Cesar's fangs sink in? -2 how much damage did Cesar's attack do? -2 which way did she twist to pull away from Cesar's attack -2 where on his right side is she attacking?  you say close to the spine but where? near the hips? the shoulders? -2 what angle is she attacking at?  45 degrees? perpendicular to form a perfect T? 4 for powerplaying. -3 fights happen rapidly, you need to leave time for your opponent to respond, it's highly unlikely she could circle her opponent in the middle of a fight, let alone slowly -2 you need to respond to all your opponents attacks, what happened with Cesar's paw stomp? -1 if/then's are frowned upon, even little ones.  it would work better to be like "attempted to bite deeply to obtain a grip" or something along that nature.  Then in your next post if you succeed your attack can be to worsen the wound 1 for defenses. +1 for each seen 2 for attack.+2 bite (-1 for clarity) 8 for injuries.-2 bite wound to neck Round two LAVENDEL Total: 15/50 CESAR: 6 for clarity: -2 what angle is he facing Laven at?  how are they positioned? -2 where exactly on the right side of her face is he trying to bite? you mention the eye and soft flesh but how is he attempting to position his jaws? 10 for powerplaying.none seen   7 for defenses.+1 each seen 4 for attack.+3 bite +1 maim attempt (-1 clarity) 8 for injuries.-2 moderate wounds to shoulder blade Round two CESAR Total: 35/50 Totals: LAVENDEL: 43/100 CESAR: 78/100 And the winner is... CESAR! Lavendel must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out. Damage: Lavendel: moderate wound to shoulder (1 ooc week) Cesar:  moderate wounds to shoulder (1 ooc week) Notes: Tips for both writing, and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here) Notes For Croa You need to work on your clarity and also your defenses.  Just getting all your defenses in will help a lot with your score.  Be sure to be specific with your attacks. For Acrylic Nice work!  Your first round was great, just a few things to watch in clarity moving into the second round, I know it's hard when you don't have a lot to go on but if your opponent leaves it open to you it's best to take advantage of it. Thanks guys! - By [Lunarcat7]