-1 “...his head would snake to the right...” Whose right?
-1 Where is he trying to strike on her foreleg?
-1 Where exactly on her neck is he trying to bite?
9 for powerplaying.
-1 “he propelled himself forward directly in line with her” Movements towards your opponent need to be attempted
6 for defenses.
+1 for each seen (Those listed before the official start of the fight don't count)
5 for attack.
+1 for leg swipe
+4 for bite/grip
10 for injuries.
First round.
Kyarst's round one total: 37/50
LYSIS: 5 for clarity:
-1 Where on her foreleg did Kyarst's paw land?
-1 Where exactly on her neck is Kyarst biting? You said scruff, but where exactly? It's a fairly large area.
-1 “...the slightly sensitive spot where Kyarst's chest met his side.” I feel this is a bit vague. Is her intended bite more towards his shoulder? His jawline?
-1 Which side is Lysis trying to bite into?
-1 “...her stumbling ever-so-slightly to the left..” Whose left?
10 for powerplaying.
None seen.
8 for defenses.
+1 for each seen
4 for attack.
+4 for bite/grip
10 for injuries.
First round.
Lysis' round one total: 37/50
ROUND TWO
KYARST: 6 for clarity:
-1 “...aiming to move forward and butt his chest against her own” What part of his chest is he hoping to use and what part of her chest is he hoping to strike?
-1 Where exactly did Lysis' bite land?
8 for powerplaying.
-2 “Instead, he would retain his firm but gentle hold...” You need to attempt to maintain a hold.
5 for defenses.
+1 for each seen
5 for attack.
+4 for bite/grip
+1 for chest bump
9 for injuries.
-1 moderate bruising (severity assigned by judge)
Kyarst's round two total: 33/50
LYSIS: 8 for clarity:
-1 In your first paragraph you state that Lysis bit into Kyarst's neck but in your second paragraph you have her release her grip on his chest
-1 “The pressure of his body against her own...” Where did his shove land?
9 for powerplaying.
-1 You mention more than once that Kyarst's grip is tightening, but there's no mention of that in his previous post
5 for defenses.
+1 for each seen
3 for attack.
+3 for bite
7 for injuries.
-1 for moderate bruising
-2 for minor puncture wounds
Lysis' round two total: 32/50
Totals:
Kyarst: 70/100 Lysis: 69/100
And the winner is...
KYARST! Lysis must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out.
Damage:
KYARST:
Moderate bruising – 3 OOC days to heal
LYSIS
Moderate bruising – 3 OOC days to heal
Minor puncture wounds – 1 OOC week to heal
Notes:
Tips for writing and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here):
For Andy: You lost a lot of easy points by not listing ten defenses. If you draw a blank when thinking of defenses it doesn't hurt to go back through old fights to get ideas. Also, remember to specify left/right/front/back in your attacks and where your character is trying to strike.
For Nyx: Same as Andy, a few more defenses would have brought your score up. You lost the most points in clarity, but they were all easy fixes so don't be discouraged! Just remember to elaborate a bit more on attacks/hits and you'll be golden.
For both: Good fight, guys! You both did well and it was a clear and easy judging. Something to consider: try experimenting with multiple attacks. A solid combo would add to the complexity of your fight and double your attack scores.
